Game #8 Recap: AAARRRRRR!!!!!!

So let’s just say themes with new outfits, accessories and lingo totally rocks! This is pirate week and everyone totally got into it! We almost forgot there was a game to play! But we’ll get to the game later … let’s talk about our outfits first!

So we went around and applied temporary tattoos to all the playaz Thursday afternoon, and let’s applaud the creativity of some of our pirates!! Necks, legs, boobs … you never knew where you were going to find a ‘Nuts tat. Then everyone got pirate bandanas and hoop earrings! Thanks to our manly men for being cool enough and secure enough to clamp on the gold hoops! You guys rock! Next year we’re definitely busting out the eyeliner.

But perhaps the most Pirate person of all was the real pirate herself, swashbucklin’ Cindy Cordova who came decked out head-to-toe in the finest pirate gear ever! (thanks, Lori Redfearn). This wasn’t one of those costumes-in-a-bag you get at the store … this one came from the center of all things pirate authentic -- Disney!

So the Head Pirate brought jello shots for all, powered by Malibu Rum, and the crowd enjoyed a refreshing rum punch and rum drinks with splashes of diet coke, no caffeine. None needed on this electric night!

So due to accessorizing the team and making a last-minute dash to the car to retrieve the eye patches, some of the first inning was missed, but early reports indicate the ‘Nuts were off to a good start! On defense Jason “Decayin’ Jack Slaughter” Pischer made an amazing sliding catch in left field … all the more amazing considering he suffers from night blindness and can barely see the ball out there! Amy “Pirate Jo the Back-Stabber” Ashton likes to re-enact the slide/catch, so if you see her around, ask her to demonstrate! It’s an early nominee for Catch of the Year, and Re-enactment of the Year!

So we’re playing Iguana Kelly’s, best known for their Wild Turkey fans. Only this week their ‘fans’ have multiplied as they try and compete with the rambunctious ‘Nuts fans! Like ‘sha! They even brought their barking dogs to try and distract us … that’s so whatever. We totally got back at them by throwing firecrackers at their feet when they walked by. It sounded like they were walking through a landmine when they passed by ... Totally cool!

So IK’s got on the board early with a two-run homer, but that would be followed up by nice catches by Rick “Shark Tooth Izzy” Radvansky and Kara “Pirate Brandy the Off-White” Perkins, who also tagged a guy out on his way to first! Totally hot! We’re only down 4-0 so decide to put some numbers on the board. Robert “Swabbin’ Jack Hawkins” Eaton singles and Marydale “Cap’n Anita Sagginsails” Leonard follows with a very handsome single of her own! Caron “Eel Skin Jade” Oberg is the pinch runner and gets ready as Alex “Shoutin’ Bart Grimm” Porter steps up. He blasts a single to left as both Caron and Robert score! We’re on the board! It’s 4-2, what a nailbiter!!

There’s some more outs and now all of a sudden it’s Iguana Kelly’s turn to bat. They score some more non-descript runs, making it 6-2, but Amy ends the inning with a spectacular catch – one of those where she puts the glove up and the ball magically falls into it! It takes every ounce of restraint from AP to let her catch it … so congrats on the teamwork everyone!

Next up is Jason, who is sporting the dangerous and naughty neck tattoo. He singles, but still hits the ball really hard and then Raquel “Fineglin’ Marilyn Bellamy” Bazan like totally doubles! While standing on second she totally shows off her strategically placed tattoo with a little shoulder shimmy bounce-around! I think IK’s wants her to double more often! So then Walter “Sharkbait Bailey Dagger” Marquez strikes out big-time, but I make a note to myself *not* to write about it since he looks really mad. So we won’t mention anything more about this big whiff of epic proportions.

Darryl “Parrot Got Me Eye” Bernard doubles with a blast to left that really should have been a home run if the wind was blowing out, and then Jenna “Munchkin Darby Read” ends the inning with a sassy groundout to the pitcher. The score is a frighteningly close 6-4! (we have four).

Marydale starts the inning with a fabulous catch on a foul ball by an IK batter (at least that’s what I thought I saw), and then Alex has a nice force out at second. IK then fires a shot to left, but they only got two measly runs out of it. Raquel flirts with the runner on third, and Caron makes a nice dive for a ball (grasstains are the new black!). The other team’s fans are now getting rowdy! And then they started doing the wave … with more than one person! That really pushed Lori Erdman’s buttons! “They’re rowdy! Do something, Lori!” pleaded Pirate Cordova. But thankfully Jenna ended the inning with a nice catch. It was now 14-4 and we’re slowly entering the Mercy Zone.

Robert leads off the next inning with a single and Caron gets a TLH, (Totally Legit Hit!) but is barely thrown out at first. Then up comes Swaggerin’ Alex. You know, there comes a time in every man's life when he needs to step out and take an adventure that will separate him from all others. Last night we all witnessed what could potentially be Coach's defining moment … perhaps the play that defines the ‘Nuts season … Effort, Desire and Will!

So he steps up to the plate and ropes a gapper into right-center. As the ball cozy-ups with the fence Alex continues with his "sprint" to second. The Iguana's finally field the ball and here is where the adventure begins. Alex does the very thing any good ballplayer would do and locates his base running coach, which at the time was played by "Sharkbait" Marquez. As Alex rounds second and heads for third he fails to heed his coach's requests to hold up! Remembering the glory and the honor he received a couple of weeks ago for hitting an inside the park home run, he decided to bypass the stop sign that "Sharkbait" put up and went in search of his own treasure chest!

What followed was simply beyond comprehension. Alex slid... Alex slid... however, he was called out. It really was hard to tell with all that cloud of dust, but he was hung out to dry. Or in pirate talk, he was made to walk the plank. He hollered at the ump, which was really cute as his gold earring danced in the moonlight. But as Coach goes, so go the ‘Nuts … so there went their hopes for a victory on Pirate night.

We still cheered Alex anyway so it was almost like he scored! Yay, Alex!

And I’m not sure how these crazy softball rules work, but usually the team that’s losing gets to bat last, but somehow we are always losing and really need a rally but then get stuck in the field letting more runs in! It’s totally not fair. Then when it’s our turn to bat “time” is called or something. I mean, seriously, what’s the point of letting the winners increase their lead and then calling the game? This isn’t the first time it has happened. It really makes us pirates angry. ARRRRRR!!

So the game ends with Dawn “Machete Aurora Slaughter” Locher getting hit in the leg by the ball after which she remained frozen, Rick making a nice catch in center and Amy making the nice catch at second, and stepping on the bag for the force. Then this was the part where we were supposed to get last upps, but at least we weren’t mercy’d! And at least we had way better outfits. And accessories. I am going to recommend that we wear jewelry at all of our games because it looks really cool as it sparkles under the lights!