Super Friends…Superfly…Supercalifragilistic…oh nevermind…

This blog is dedicated to Duke

Well it seems I’m a little rusty at keeping score and blog writing as I completely neglected to write down the score at the end of each inning…or wait a minute…maybe it was that distracting peanut gallery behind me…yes you know who you are…and can I just say…Cup Check! yeah...We’ll get back to that later…now to the top of the 1st…

Steve Iron Man Stuhr sets the tone with a throw to Kara Super Friends Leader Perkins for 1…then Eric Spiderman Wittman makes a great catch in left for 2…and to wrap it up…Bill Green Lantern Chang throws to KP for 3…back to the Peanut Gallery…or maybe not…cause they are bordering on obnoxious at the moment…you would think they went for drinks in between games or something…well if they did you can blame it on Iguana Kelly’s...we love them and their free pitchers by the way!!

Bottom of the 1st…Steve bad hop if you’re the shortstop Stuhr lands a single…and we can see why protective gear is necessary in softball…right Johanna? I mean that almost took out that shortstop’s…well you know what I mean…Cup Check!
Staci Super Girl is up next and slams a nice hit to left…she’s on with a single…then Bill like totally fouls out…what?!?!?!? Isn’t that about as likely to happen as Paris Hilton serving a full sentence??? Inconceivable!!!…Anyway Derek The Flash brings us back with a single and we are on the board with like a 6-point lead at the end of the 1st…Ok we didn’t actually score, but whatever.

To the 2nd…Bill throws to KP for the 1st out…Dale Bat Man in the Hot Corner Giali makes a great catch for 2 that really sends the fans reeling…someone check his ID?!?!? Then Bill tries to run into a trashcan on the foul line once…no twice…hey someone move that thing...or use your Super Powers to melt it or something!!! Meanwhile back in the stands the antics are elevating to Ginormous proportions…individuals who shall remain nameless…or who can be divulged for a price (see me later) were found to really come out of their shells…I mean who knew!!!

Bottom of the second…now its time for some runs people…Eric starts things off with a homerun…hot! Jackie singles…Dale singles…pause here to reflect on the Buckner all the way error by the 1st baseman…he must have been thinking about Sturgeons or something cause that was…you know…lame! Then Susy singles…totally hot…Steve singles…and Bill doubles…Staci singles…Derek doubles and we’re like so far ahead that the pitcher who resembles a famous cartoon character (any guesses?) is seen shaking his head in disbelief!

Top of the 3rd…Dale keeps the hot corner smoking with a throw to KP at 1st for 1…Wade Boggs…Wade Boggs for sure!!! Then Bill to KP for 2…then back to the hot corner…Wade…I mean Dale makes it 3…hot!!!!

The bottom of the 3rd was wrought with bleacher distractions but I don’t think we missed much on the field…I think we can safely skip to the 4th inning for sure…Top of the 4th…the score is about like 11 – 1…The Sturgeon Fish are needing a little something-something to get them going…but it seems the Super Friends have all the power…Bill starts to shut them down with a great catch for 1…then Steve to KP at 1st for 2…Repeat….then Steve to KP at 1st for 3….moving right along…

Bottom of the 4th…Jackie is on with a single…Steve Gotta Be Stuhr slams a homerun…and Susy singles…she is en fuego tonight!!! Bill is on with a double…Derek singles...and the grandstand offers up RBI slamming Sue with some Hit the ball out of the pitcher’s hand like Arod advice…but then that’s why we are in the stands…and not out there playing…cause we know how well that turned out don’t we?!?!? Then before we wrap up the inning Erik doubles and we have totally way more runs!

Bottom of the 5th…The Sturgeons manage a little rally…I said little rally…the shortstop guy slams a homerun…I think he felt bad about it cause he left Susy with a personal gift…I’ve never seen anything quite like it…but there it was! Ummm all together now….Cup Check!! So I know I saw Steve throw to KP for the 1st out…and I know Dale Boggs made another great catch for 2…but the discussions in the stands are so Super funny that I’m thinking these guys…and you know who you are… have like Super Comedian Powers or something…holla! Anyway…the last out was Bill getting the runner at 2nd…on to the 6th…

Blue stops by to egg-on the Peanut Gallery…like they need any encouragement…Ha! Dale starts off with a slide into 2nd double…Steve takes his base…Jackie takes her base…and Bill uses his super powers to grand slam that ball…hot!!! It didn’t remind me of little league in the slightest!!! Hot!!! Then Susy still distracted by the special gift she received earlier from the shortstop…doesn’t make it on base…but what is a girl to do when presented with one of those gifts you didn’t really see coming and can’t return for something…ummm….better at like Nordstrom!!! Anway… before the Super Friends wrap it up and head back to their Justice League place on their surf boards…invisible planes…bat mobiles… spider webs and various other forms of transportation…Derek slams a double…Super hot!!! Super Friends win with a 13-point lead….oh wait not yet….we have that last inning to get to…my bad!

Bottom of the 6th…Staci makes a great catch for 1…then there's some dodgeball at 3rd…and then everyone decides to have a meeting in the outfield...I don't know....maybe to discuss the latest word on Kryptonite...then...then...then Bill throws to Dale for 2…and to really wrap it up…for real…Steve strikes the batter out…couldn’t think of a better ending…and just so you all know…I spared you from the many quotes I wrote down that were heard in the stands tonight...yeah...um you can find those at the "R" rated blog sight!!!
But...I do have to say thanks to the fans for the side-splitting humor of super power proportions and I warn the rest of you that these fans will be back!! Now….let’s go fishing…Sturgeons anyone???

Holla!

2007 Summer Schedule

Back to the Field Where it all Started!
All games will be played at Joe Rodgers field...that's the GOOD one people!
All of a sudden I feel the urge to do cartwheels in the outfield...right Dawn?!?!?

Anyway...here's the breakdown:

24-May
7:45 Super Friends (dang no more Nuts jokes for this team) vs. Iguana Kelleys (beer!)
9:00 Nuts vs. Malloy'S (with a "big" S) Misfits

31-May
6:30 Super Friends vs. Nuts
or will it be the Justice League vs. the Legion of Doom

07-Jun
6:30 Iguana Kelleys vs. Nuts
9:00 Sturgeon Generals vs. Super Friends

14-June
6:30 Malloy'S Misfits vs. Super Friends
9:00 Nuts vs. Queens of Kings

21-June
6:30 Queens of Kings vs. Super Friends
7:45 Nuts vs. Sturgeon Generals

28-June
6:30 Malloy'S Misfits vs. Nuts
7:45 Iguana Kelleys vs. Super Friends

05-July
7:45 Nuts vs. Super Friends

12-July
6:30 Super Friends vs. Sturgeon Generals
9:00 Nuts vs. Iguana Kelleys

19-July
7:45 Queens of Kings vs. Nuts
9:00 Super Friends vs. Malloy'S Misfits

26-July
7:45 Sturgeon Generals vs. Nuts
9:00 Super Friends vs. Queens of Kings

02-August
PLAYOFFS BABY...work it in!

Start of the Season....End of the Season

Hello friends...no time like the present to reminisce about the end of last season...and Dawn has made it easy with her very own collection of photos to share...and dang those Nuts were fast...just look at all those blurred figures flashing past the camera lens! I mean slow down once in awhile and smile!

Thanks Dawn...we love you!
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A Little Softball...and A Lot of Frosting!

Our little nut "Amy" turned another year older...welcome to my world Amy!
But other than all the candy and frosting thrown back...there were two really great games! Congratulations to both teams...you all looked hot!

Dawn has shared some more pics...check them out at the link below.
See you next week at 6:30...then at the "between" beer break...then again at 9:00...holla!

http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLandingSignin.jsp?Uc=puyvkbt.40fc0iid&Uy=gxq5gt&Upost_signin=Slideshow.jsp%3Fmode%3Dfromshare&Ux=0&UV=126065544992_620935828405

Off we go...Game 1 Night 1 Antics!

Thanks Dawn for capturing it all on camera...and when can we build condiment towers again?! I mean...i'm in! Holla!

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Shake it Off, Rub Some Dirt on it!

Off in the distance, the game's dragging on,
There's strikes on the batter, some runners are on,
I don't know the inning, I've forgotten the score.
The whole team is yelling and I don't know what for,
Suddenly everyone's looking at me,
My mind has been wandering, what could it be?
They point to the sky and I look up above,
and the softball falls right into my glove…

Time for the playoffs we have been waiting many seasons for…Nuts vs Nuts Part Six, the All-star, Hall-of-Fame Edition….or something like that. With Kara’s Nuts in 1st and Darryl’s Nuts in 4th…a win for either team advances them to the finals…and wait for it…trophies and some serious water cooler bragging rights…so on to the show!

Enter Mike Schmidt Hinohosa…the 1st to face Duke Dizzy Dean Low…cue the at bat music…strike up the band…and turn on the sprinklers…or wait…let’s save that for later…when we’re really cold…and after we mix it up with a little controversy and stuff…ok…roll em.

Mike Schmidt is on with a double...and for some reason everyone after him wants one too…Dizzy Duke obliges…and Theresa Damon…Randy Ozzy Smith…Mindy Carew, Darryl Drysdale and Brian Lou Brock Lee all repeat the double thing….Doubles appear to be the new Black!
Amy (there are no Rovers in Baseball) Ahearn SLAMS a single…J-Dawg Spezio slams a double…Julie Piazza Alonso chops a single….and Cleaner Clemente is also on with a single…now you may think by now that Darryl’s team was having all the fun….Not True!

Eustacio Betemit makes a great catch for 1…then Eustacio, Bill Jeter and The Cardinal formerly known as J-Dawg decide to pickle…J-Dawg makes this belly flop leap back towards 2nd….but no go with Jeter in the way…he out…and he dirty! Hot! Hands off ladies….he’s Amy’s!
So when the dust clears…and Duke and Staci make the 3rd out…we done with this mini massacre…Kara wants her turn…punch it!
Derek Henderson McGriff is the 1st to face Double D…he slams a teeee-ripple! Bill slams a home run (hot!) and Kara’s Nuts are on the board! The score at the end of the 1st is 6 – 2…and yes I’m sure of it…just in case Blue wants to ask me about it or something…you never know.

Top of the 2…The Gold Nuts stop the D Nuts cold…with their 6 points…just to be clear and all…Steve Bonds Stuhr is up…and on…with a single…Sin-dee San Diego Chicken Cordova is on with a single and Jose is on with a single….meanwhile…in the in/out field…Randy picks off a few unsuspecting Nuts at 2nd for 1 and 2…and Randy to Meaghan Puhols for 3…the score is 6 – 3…yep 6 – 3.

Double D is up…facing the Duke…he slams a triple…Brian takes his base…and the Ocho is on with another single…yeah...Wonder Woman is hot tonight! In the field…Steve and Staci make some great plays to close the top of the 3rd…its 8 – 3…unless you’re Blue…in which case its 10 – 3…or something like that…off we go…
Eustacio leads off…he’s on with a single…Kara Olerud takes her base…Derek takes his base…and Bill Grand Slams a home run…smoking hot…and Duke is on with a single (it was a tough act to follow)…meanwhile…in the field J-Dawg makes a great catch somewhere in there and before we know it the inning is over! The score is 8 – 7…unless you’re Blue…in which case it’s 22 – 16…or something like that.

Top of the 4th…Cleaner is on with a single…Mike is on with a single…Randy takes his base…Mindy singles…Double D takes his base…and Darryl’s Nuts have 3 more on the board…according to me…but if you’re Blue…then it was 5 more runs…meanwhile in the in/out field Derek makes a great catch…and after some more great plays…which um didn’t get recorded…Darryl’s Nuts are out…and the score going into the bottom:
Caron: 8 – 7
Blue: 33 – 27 (or something like that)

To the bottom…I forget who leads off…but since the Gold Nuts made it through their batting order…and then some…I’ll just start with Derek…he’s on with a single…Staci Palmeiro is on with a single….Bill takes his base…KP is on with a single…Duke Grand Slams…Holla! Dianna is on with a single…she’s en fuego tonight…and it just keeps going…and going…and going (much Unlike the batteries in our boom box).
Back to the game…Steve is on with a single…Sin-dee is on with a single…Jose Wade Boggs Baldonado is on with a double (thanks for breaking up the singles mixer) and Sue Lazzeri takes her base…oh and Eustacio is on with a single…
…in the field Randy and Mindy take out a few Gold Nuts at 2nd…and Randy makes a great catch for 3…the Gold Nuts have 9 more runs on the board. The score:
Caron: 11 – 16
Blue: 43.5 – 19.3333333333 (or something like that)

To the 5th…Brian leads off…and slams a double…the Ocho is on with another single…J-Dawg doubles…and Darryl’s Nuts have another run…and are starting to inch their way back! The Bottom of the 5th brings no runs for the Gold Nuts…tension mounts as we head for the 6th…the fans on both sides in both stands are also feeling the pressure…it’s anyone’s game at this point…off we go…

Top of the 6th…Mike Schmidt lands a single…Theresa takes her base…Randy doubles…and Darryl takes his base…two more runs score for Darryl’s team and they inch even closer with a now 14 – 16 score…that’s the real score by the way…which means this game would be like…over…but Blue thinks it’s tied…16 all…so off we go for another round of Gold Nuts…hit it…

Derek leads off…and he’s on with a single…Bill gets to take a walk…Sue also gets to take a walk…(somewhere in here someone must have gotten out – cuz Sin-Dee got up – Bill got walked so DD could get to Sin-Dee – but Sin-Dee was ready and slammed a single to center field – she’s on 1st and the bases are loaded now while they’re strolling and walking and walking and strolling…and hitting…Dizzy Duke steps up…remember that look he gets when he really wants a piece of the ball…mouth watering…eyes bulging…hands wringing the bat like he was holding a fork at a big feast….that softball IS a juicy meatball…Smack! To the trees people…to the trees…home run! Congratulations Gold Nuts…you earn the honor to continue playing in this freezing cold weather…with umpire Bob and his bad attitude…but we in the stands are happy for you…and the jumping up and down is keeping us warm! Keep it up Gold Nuts…you’ve got one more round!

(If you were only interested in reading about game 1…here is where you want to check out). But if you’re still with me…off to playoff game 2…Malloy’s vs The Gold Nuts…word on the street is that Malloy’s has spent the last hour in a bar…we’ll take it…maybe they’ll miss a few…as Patti Cleaner Clemente says…”let’s get this potty started”…yeah that’s potty started…no typo…um…well…you had to be there!

The 1st…Duke employs the evenings popular strategery and walks the 1st guy…and some other Malloy’s do some other stuff…and well the runs start coming in…we in the stands want to make sure Blue stays honest…so we loudly repeat the score to him…all together (we rehearsed!) over and over again…
Back out on the field…A hot double play is in the works…Duke to Bill to Kara…and that’s 2…then Duke lands a strike-out for 3…Malloy’s has 9 runs on the board…we have them right where we want them…holla!

Gold Nuts are up…Bill sets the tone with a triple…Kara is on with a single…and Duke…again with the meatballs…slams a home run…we are so on the board…pause for score clarification with Blue…3 – 9…yep all in agreement…oh woops inning over…to the 2…

Ah yes…we hold the Misfit Malloys to 1 run…here’s how…Duke makes a great catch for 1…Duke to KP for 2…and a Duke strike out for 3…score check: 3 – 10…our turn.
Steve leads off with a double…Sue is on with a single and Eustacio slams a double…we’ve got 1 more on the board….score check: 4 – 10…to the 3rd…
Here we hold them to 2 runs…with some great plays by Bill and KP…and off course Sue’s feet…the Malloy’s are out!

It was the bottom of the 5th inning when the Gold Nuts really came to life…the score is 6 – 13 and we needed some runs…Eustacio leads off and slams a double…Kara repeats with another double…Derek also doubles….Dianna Bench Tavira makes it a double…and yeah…the doubles are back! So hot! Bill mixes it up with a triple…and why not…Staci sticks with the doubles…and Duke does something to get him on base…which apparently I didn’t bother to write down…my bad. But the Gold Nuts keep going with a double by Steve and another by Jose…we must have been jumping up and down so much in the stands that we needed to play in the sprinklers…screw the game…the sprinklers are on…woo-hoo!…All we need is a Slip and Slide and a Water Weenie and we’re good to go!

No really….that sprinkler thing kinda sucked…you’ve never seen sports fan move faster…not even with a foul ball coming…purses…papers and blankets flying…yeah…good times Whaley Park!
Anyway…there were 8 additional Gold Nut runs which put the score at 14 – 13…yep…we got them right where we want them!

To the 6th…7th and 8th…all a blur of sprinklers…umpire threats…discussion surrounding umpire threats…and well it’s hard to write when holding up your blanket! But here’s what we remember…Bill and Kara make another double play…Duke gets another round of strike-outs…and Sue makes a nice catch…we hold the Malloy’s to another 3 runs total. Our turn at bat has Bill bringing in Derek…who was on with a single…and we manage one more run…these last 3 innings were really stressful for us blanket holding Nuts fans…we were sooooo freakin close…but at final score check it was: Malloy’s 15 Nuts 14…a real great effort Gold Nuts and D Nuts…you rock and we love you!
The new season with warmer days and longer nights is coming soon. Along with the end of the season celebration…check back for schedules and rosters…holla!

Quotable Quotes:

“You’re out of the batters box…you’re out!” – Blue

“Ask me a question and you’re out!” – Blue

“Look at me wrong and you’re out!” – Blue

“I don’t like your outfit…you’re out! - Blue

“Be quiet…or I’ll get rid of you!” – Blue

“Be quiet…I’m on the phone!” – Blue

“Dead ball!” – Blue (In regard to any play that interrupted his phone conversation).

“I don’t want to hear it…that was 2 innings ago!” – Blue (In regard to his brilliant scoring calculations).

“Fumble” – Amy

“Our Rover is a chicken!” – Rebecca

“Our Rover is a skipping chicken!” – unnamed Nuts fan

“Our Rover is a skipping funky chicken!” – still unnamed Nuts fan

Blog on Blog on…

Next season is fast approaching and I’ve taken on some additional extracurricular writing projects…that means I’ll have less time to write these little masterpieces…so here’s a suggestion. If you want to set yourself up on Blogger (free and easy) you all can recount your games...have a little banter…you know like a real Blog…and then we get to hear from many voices rather than just reading my totally lame humor…anyway just a thought!
Peace out - Caron

Nuts charge into Playoff's in 1st place and 4th Place

The posting below is intended to be non-biased - but lets face it - I manage one of the teams - I'm biased.

Who: Academia Nuts-2 and Academia Nuts-3

What: Softball Playoffs baby!

When: Thursday, January 25, 2007. 7:45 and 9:00

Where: Whaley Park - corner of Atherton and Bellflower, behind the YMCA

Why: Cuz we're awesome and we need tons of fans to come out and support!

How: Not sure - seems like a miracle - but its actually cuz we're pretty good.

The good news - both teams made the playoffs, and no matter what happens, one team will play for 1st place. Nuts-2 finished the regular season in 1st place (7-2-1), Nuts-3 finished in 4th place (6-4).

The bad news - in order to play in the championship game, one nuts team will have to beat the other. 1st place team plays the 4th place team at 7:45; then the winner plays at 9:00 against the winner of the other semi-final game (Superior vs. Malloys - in case you care).

Bring blankets, jackets, gloves, coffee, hot chocolate - whatever you need to keep warm. The more people at the game - the warmer it will be (if you sit close together).

1st place team!!!! GOOOOOLLLLLLLDDDDD NUTS!















There's currently no picture of the other Nuts - we'll have to be sure to take one this week.

'Tis the Season

by rebecca stuhr and the ghost of CO past…holla!

Happy Holidays, all. Hunker down, grab your “eggnog” (wink, wink) and snuggle in tight to hear all about this week’s ‘Nuts games. And, remember, in the immortal works of Lara Flynn Boyle: “That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way?” So, let’s get on with it:

T’was the first game of the evening and all through the stands, not a fan was clapping because their butts were frozen to their hands. Darryl’s Nuts took to their line-up with a wave and a smile, Jason was up first and hit a base hit with style. With Jason on first, and Amy striking out, Brian came in for a home run and a shout. Coconut was up to bat and got her way to first, Mike “the New Alex” was walked – was that unrehearsed? Julie “Hi, Mom!” was up next and belted her way on base. That led Coconut and the new Alex home – the score was now 4-8 (no, 4-zero, I just wanted to see if you were paying attention). The line-up continues, with Darryl, Raquel, and Randy making it home, the inning ended with the Nuts up 7 – hey, when in Rome…

Bottom of the first and the Nuts take the field, DD to Mike for the first out with zeal. With a Randy to Mindy for out number 2, the Nuts look great, the Quickfielders say boo-hoo. Jason throws to Mike for out number three, the score is 7-1, and the fans cheer with glee.

The Nuts are up again and Theresa takes a base, Mike tries to out-run a throw to first, but is tagged out with a wee-bit of grace. The reindeer noses come up to bat with Raquel leading the way; of course her nose is on her neck (ok, Lori E, just as you say!). Amy and Theresa make it home with Reindeer Robert shouting them in; nice hit Randy! It looks like our 19 runs might get us the win.

Bottom of the second and what to my wandering eyes should appear…but the fog as chilly and thick as your beer…well not really…it too cold for beer…but sure as I see it the fog has settled in chunky - A popfly goes out to Darryl we think for out number one, funky-monkey. Cleaner to Mike for another glorious out and Mike saunters to first to end the inning, without doubt.

Top of the third and we lead 19-2. Bases loaded, count on Jason’s slam to get everyone through (that’s Amy, Randy, and Jeanine to be exact). It’s not that I’m rushing now, or bored with the rhyme, but there is only so much scoring one can keep track of, now with a score of 2 to 29. But, to sum it up, I’ll tell you the scorer facts: Brian, Raquel, Cleaner, Meaghan, Randy, and Mike “Papa Smurf” with his Dodger Blue Santa cap.

Reindeer noses a buzzin’ and friendly folks shouting out “go Cougs,” we seem to be walking everyone, from here to Baton Rouge. But no matter what the score, there is one question that unsettles the fanatics: Is it a hooded Meaghan or Kenny when the batter almost killed her with some fancy semantics. (Who Killed Kenny?) Cleaner, Jason, and Brian are fielding out with spins and grins, with three outs finally, the Quickfielders got seven total for the in’.

Top of the fourth, we can’t believe Brian strikes out, but fancying his left, what else would you have thought about? Julie, Cleaner, Raquel make it in - We are swinging for base hits and don’t even hear that little violin. Papa Smurf strikes out with a beaaautiful swing, Meagan brings it home for a score of 7 to thirty-thring.

We take the field for last time because the batteries on our noses are running low. Hey - Theresa is pitching, working her way up to pro! Megan to Mindy, it’s a beaut’, for out number 1. We can’t stand it; this new outfield is so much fun! Theresa to Mindy for out number 2, did we mention Brian is catcher, we be-lee-ve in that – so should you! Theresa’s on fire with two strikes in her belt… I’m not sure of the final score, but…

Please call x14601 if you have any questions, (aren’t I svelte!)

INTERMISSION! INTERMISSION! Everyone run to Target and by your toys! Theresa’s gonna stick around! She’s not going anywhere! INTERMISSION! INTERMISSION!

(Ok, anyone sick of the rhyming yet? Oh, but mon petit chu, I cannot let down Kara’s Nuts! And, my husband would be appauled if I didn’t rhyme for him… if I could I would sing it for ya, babe)

Twaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas the second game of the evening and all through the stands, CO has joined the gang and Darryl stuck around to lend his peanut-gallery hand. The Nuts are up first and Stuhr takes second base; Staci follows quickly with Duke helping this inning’s foot race. Kara gets walked, and stands out on base for awhile, until Derek gets a double and Kara runs home with a smile. With Derek on second and Monique heckled with “easy-out,” she proved them all wrong and gave them something to worry about. Eustacio takes first but Sue can’t outrun the throw, the inning ends with a score of 7- oh.

The Nuts take the field, Stuhr’s pitching and walking a few, but before we know it we get three outs and nothing gets passed our catcher Sus’.

Top o’ the second and this Nuts fan is cold. The trees are dripping on our sock-wearin’ toes. But, Theresa is back (whew, who was going to take all those toys!) and to bat Stuhr takes first, with Staci following closely behind (did that rhyme? it just flows right, I think). Duke hits a huge, way up there, pop fly, but unfortunately gets thrown out on first base – not close to a tie. Kara is up and gets knocked out the same; no matter Nuts – the score still shows it’s our ballgame!

Bottom of the second and we have strike-outs galore – Stuhr is hot to trot, well so his wifey swore. Not to play it biased, it really was all about Stuhr from the beginning, with two strike-outs added to his stats, he caught a popfly to the end this inning.

What the crowd saw next with Bill hugging his bat tightly, was something everyone talked about at the water cooler on Friday: Bill hit the ball for what we were sure was a single, but over throw after over throw, Bill galloped home with a jingle. Paul glided home and Susy was walked, Monique made it to first, ain’t no “easy-out” balked! The inning ended gleefully: nine runs - we’re on a roll, the RookS can’t get us now, with only three tot-al.

The inning started with Derek on his knees, catching a fly ball for one little out-ey! Duke to Bill at 2nd base gets us out number 2, Steve powers a strike-out keeping the score the same as we’re used to!

Sue is up first and runarounds her way to first, Stuhr follows next and Twang! the crowd thinks that bat is cursed. Staci is walked and Duke is up next, behold what is this we see – his hit lands us perplexed. Sure Duke makes it to third, with Staci and Stuhr scoring runs, but now Duke needs a runner – guess Derek’s the one! Bill, Dianna, and Paul make it home like it’s just in a day’s routine. To end the top of the 4th, the score is 3 to nineteen.

Bottom of the fourth and we have a double play to boast about: Stuhr catches a fly ball and throws to KP for the second out. Where’s Monique, you might all be wondering – she’s waving her hand in out field, our players the fog be plundering (arrrrrrrgh). There’s a fly-ball to Paul, which creates a rhyme all in itself, we shall end this inning with a little respect for myself.

We’re up to bat again and some of us are freezing and want a heater! Slow start with Sue getting walked and Stuhr’s base hit looking like a repeater. A quick round to follow with two outs in a row, we get a few on base but no runs to show.

We head out to the field one last time on this sparkling night, if we play this to the end we will win, all right! Steve gets another – strike out for sure, and Paul catches a popfly – second out to almost end the RookS torture. Before we can blink, Eustacio throws to Staci for out number three… “Goooooold Nuts!” blazes across the marquee! Final score for our Nuts is 19 to 3…we love the Rook’S but we beat them...you see! We loaded the gifts and we drove out of sight…Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Quotes that no one has enough free-time in her life to find rhymes for:

Cleaner: Pointing to the fans’ reindeer noses: “You guys look like the landing strip at LAX!” (it was really foggy that first game!)
CO: “Look! The ump has a broom! I love an umpire with a plate duster…hot!”
Rebecca to Kara: Gary Miller? My first boyfriend in Kindergarten was Gary Miller.
(Group of Unnamed Fans): But, you should have smelled the asparagus!
CO: “Ah, the fog has miraculously cleared. Cue the Angels, the God Nuts are taking the field.”
Mike: “Oh, smell that? That’s the dorms for CSULB. Finals are over.”


Number of times the trees dripped on Theresa’s head: 8.
Number of presents the Nuts brought to Theresa: WAY TO MANY TO COUNT! ‘TIS THE SEASON TO BE JUST THIS CARING… TO MAKE SURE NEEDY CHILDREN HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY! Softball aside – Way to Go Nuts! (and thank you Quickfielders for joining in as well!)

Nuts V Nuts....Again!

By CO & CD….and a little KP

It’s rematch night Nuts fans…Double D takes the mound first for his Nuts…and of course he faces Duke…the lead-off man for Kara’s Nuts…Smack! The ball is headed for the trees and beyond, cutting through the fog like a hot knife through butter…smoking hot! (Caron…Caron… wake up you’re dreaming again!) Huh? Oh…that’s right…Double D and his Nuts came up with some anti-Duke pitching strategery so…we’re getting a walk people…snoooooze! If that don’t put you to sleep just wait until the next time Duke is up…so there…we warned you!

Anyway…we finally get some action when Staci slams a single…totally hot…but she is caught on her way to 2nd by a Randy-to-J-Dawg-to-Meaghan thing. Bill is also on with a single…But Mike and Randy both make some great catches for outs 2 and 3 and stop the Gold Nuts cold! Side note…if Kara’s Gold Nuts win tonight they literally have the Gold…as in 1st place…as in best in all the land…as in strike up the national anthem and raise the flag…like totally all to themselves and stuff…high stakes people!

Bottom of the 1st…Kara’s Nuts take the field…Duke, affectionately known to Nuts fans as Minnie Mouse, takes the mound in his sassy black tights! Randy leads off for the Darryls…and this should be good…Duke v. Randy…yeah…hey, Double D…please note that Duke doesn’t walk him! Anyway…Randy slams a triple…Theresa “Every Time” hits directly to Jose “Every Time” and well someone had to lose…this time it was Theresa for out number 1. Then the Cleaner is on with another triple…and 1 run is on the board. Mindy slams a line drive right to Duke for the 2nd out…and somewhere in there they pick off the Cleaner…watch out for Jose…he hot in the hot corner!

Top o’ the 2…Sin-Dee leads off for KP’s Nuts…Double D winds up…Sin-Dee steps into the batter’s box…her stance is looking hotter than ever…but it looks like a strike out for DD’s team…sorry Sin-Dee! The Monstuhr is up next…we in the stands expect big things here…please don’t walk him….please don’t walk him! Whatever…Steve takes his base…yawn! Susy “San Diego Super Chargers” is up next…hot! She’s on with a single…then Jose Every Time is up next…smack! Fly ball right to Brian who makes an un-Be-Lee-Ve-able catch for 2…Sue…with the hottest hair in baseball (sorry, Criselle!) is up next…she slams one right to Meaghan who makes the catch for 3…dang…she catches everything! Note to the K-pees…don’t hit to Brian and Meaghan (and I’m pretty sure you already know that about the short stop!)

To the bottom…score is 1-1…Double D leads off…he takes his base…yep….he’s walking (hmmm….what up Duke?)…Coconut is up next…she’s on with a single…but…hold for the action in the backfield…Steve makes a great play…throws to Eustacio…Double D is out at 3rd…Take that! Meanwhile…Mike the New Alex slams a single…Meaghan is on with a single…and J-Dawg “Throw some Bronzer On” Ahearn is on with a single…see…that’s what happens when you’re being pitched to…like it’s called hitting and fielding! Theresa then smacks the ball towards the Monstuhr…he makes this total Field of Dreams like catch that has the fans cheering…and somewhere in there we have a 3rd out…but heck if I know what happened…I was too distracted by J-Dawg’s legs! The Double-Dees end up with another run on the board and we head into the 3rd.

Score: 2 – 1 (Darryl’s Nuts)
Eustacio leads off…smack! Right to Randy…which ain’t good…sure enough he makes the play to Meaghan for 1…Marydale steps up…another hit right to Randy who makes the play to Meaghan for 2. Now for the Duke…yeah we know what’s coming…such a waste of a good batter…here it is…Duke takes his base (boring!!!!!)…Monique is up next…she also takes her base…now for Bill…fingers-crossed…this could be good…but Brian has other plans…he takes Bill’s ball and tags Monique out at 2nd…no change in the score…we move on!

Hey? Do we need an Intentional-Walk-O-Meter? No…that will just be depressing…on to the bottom of the 3rd!

Brian leads off for Darryl’s Nuts…CD says that Brian is going to hit one out of the park for her…OMG that’s like so totally hot! We all watch…smack! That ball is sailing…it hangs up a little in that thick fog…but somehow cuts right through! It’s..still going…going…going…Home run! And so to top off the hotness of this gesture…Brian…after tagging home…looks over toward CD with one of those that was for you point-n-wink glances…HOT! We are soooo telling everyone about this tonight at the prom! HOT!

We settle down a little bit to watch Mindy hit straight to KP for out number 1…then Duke…with his Disneyland Sassy Mickey tights on…uses all his strategery to pitch to Randy…Randy hits…Duke throws to KP…out number 2! Or that might have been 3…I don’t know…I’m still talking about the HOT home run a few batters ago…HOT!

Score: 3 – 1 (Darryl’s Nuts)
Top of the 4th…Diana leads off…whatever you do, don’t hit to Randy…didn’t even get it all out before Randy fires to Meaghan for 1…Paul is next…he slams a single (but Bill comes in to run for him…this is important peeps…keep reading)…Staci slams a single…and Steve slams a single…triple singles…Hot! Bases Loaded. Now…who was it that punched that smoking line drive to Mindy? Was that you KP? Mindy makes a great catch and has the bruises to prove it…that’s 2! But wait….Why is Bill tagging up? Bill’s trying to score! Mindy throws to DD who’s covering home…and we’ve got a pickle people. The ball is back to Randy…back to DD…back to Randy…back to DD…back to Randy…Bill is still running…and DD is in the base path – where he most likes to be – what Bill didn’t know was that Randy was a hired gun…hired by Amy for revenge of the “incident” from several weeks back…Randy saw his opportunity…he would split the pot with Double D if he ran interference in the baseline (again….where he loves to be!)…Randy aimed…he threw…and just like at those shooting galleries where you aim at those little moving duckies…he beaned him…right in the back of his rock-hard head!…of course that couldn’t stop Bill…who even though he may be a little bit injury prone…took this one for the team and SCORED! That was one Hot Pickle! Jose “Every Time” is up next…Double D gets the walk-off strike out and that’s 3…to the bottom.

…Meanwhile Amy’s sources report back to her that there has been a hit…she wires the funds to a Swiss bank account and Randy looks pleased…he winks at someone over on the 3rd baseline…yep the whole dugout seems to be in on it! It’s a conspiracy! I bet Donald Rumsfeld is in on it too … as one of his last valiant acts!!!

Score: tied people!
The Cleaner leads off…He’s on with a double…Meaghan hits right to Duke who throws to KP for 1…Double D is on with a Double…and Theresa is on with a single…Mike is on with a single…but Duke throws to Bill and Theresa is out at 2nd…that was hot by the way! And Sue makes a great fly ball catch for 3…her hair is STILL hot! The Double Dees manage to add 2 runs to their score and we head to the 5th!

Score: 5 – 3 (Double Dees)
Top of the 5th…Sin-Dee leads off…and gets trapped in the Randy to Meaghan maneuver…I mean why fight it, right? Eustacio steps up and is on with a single. Susy increases Double D’s strikeout count for 2…and Duke…he walks…what were you expecting, something different? Double D catches Sue for 3 and we head into the bottom.

J-Dawg leads off…he slams a single…Theresa takes her base…Brian takes his base…Coconut slams one right to Bill for 1…Randy takes his base…Meaghan gets caught in the Duke to KP connection for 2…and Duke and KP repeat it again for 3…1 run scores…and we head to the 6th.

Bill leads off for KP’s Nuts…Smack! This looks good people…I’m thinking home run here…Bill rounds 3rd…gets the signal and heads for home…Randy’s got the ball and he’s gunning it to home plate, will he repeat the beaning in the 4th inning? Dang Amy…Bill only hit you once!…down Bill went…sliding under Double D to tag home plate (which I kinda think he did…but what do I know…I can’t even keep track of the score!) there it is…out number 1…

The inning continues somehow…Marydale is taken down by a Double D strike out…Duke is walked again…what? Yes….walked again…even the trees are crying out for some attention now! Monique is on with a single… and Theresa soooo almost made the greatest fog catch ever…but like how could she even see out there?! Paul gets on with a double…Randy and J-Dawg get Monique at 2nd…and after another out and another walk the inning is over…ok…so I’m getting tired!

To the bottom…Mindy leads off with a single… Double D slams a double…Coconut gets caught by Bill and Kara for out number 1…Mike is on with a single…Meaghan is stopped by Kara and Duke…a cool play by the way…J-Dawg walks…But a risky lead-off requires J-Dawg to dive back to base…when J-Dawg gets up…he has an instant tan…we’re happy he took our advice about the bronzer! Anyway… someone else is stopped by Duke to Kara for 3…Darryl’s team manages 2 more runs but KP gets one more shot…holla!

Score: 8 – 3 (The Double Dees)
Jose leads off…he is on with a single…Staci is stopped with a great catch by Randy…Eustacio is on with a double…KP is stopped by a great fog catch by Theresa…and the final act features Randy and Meaghan for 3…final score is 8 – 4…Double D and his Nuts strip the Gold Nuts of their Gold and I’m thinking they’ll be meeting each other in the finals…hey…so can we discuss the intentional walks by then…and let’s all hope our Nuts will get bigger by then and we’ll pitch to all the power hitters. Congrats everyone…Holla!


Stat-O-Rama:

Walks damn it! 12

Rand-O-Meter: 10

Strike outs: 4

Singles: 17 dang that’s a record!

Home run of the year goes to Bri-bri who just won prom king….hot!

And finally….a very special announcement:

Next week we will feature a “Toy Drive” theme. Players and fans are asked to bring a new, unwrapped toy to benefit needy children attending middle and high schools in Whittier. Theresa Cronin, Centerfielder for the Dearborn Nuts provides counseling services to many of these children and has seen first hand how difficult this time of year can be for them.

Here is some more information provided by Theresa:

The youngest child is an infant and the oldest is 17. Both male and female gifts for all ages are needed. Examples: Stuffed animals, books, Target gift cards, Ralphs Gift Cards, family board games, drawing items (crayons, markers, paints), dolls, educational games (flash cards, puzzles), word puzzles, craft sets (building blocks, clay, beeds, etc.), barbies, army/marine figures, toy cars, hand held electronic games, diaries/journals, sports items (basketball, soccer ball, baseball etc.).

Thank you in advance for your generosity and we’ll see you Thursday…rumor has it that those glow-in-the-dark reindeer noses will be making an appearance! Happy Holidays!

Dukeless, Themeless, and 40 Fricken Below

by Caron “Edit-Now-or-Else” Oberg and Rebecca “Munchkin-Peanut-Gallery” Stuhr

Break up the Lacrosse game its time for some softball…but dang….it’s cold! In fact…it was soooo cold (cue the “How cold was it?”) our Nuts had to wear so many layers of clothing…that if they fell down…they had to stay there until somebody found them…and rolled them across home plate! Yep…I predict this blog will be riddled with bad weather jokes…only read on if you dare!

Now…let’s play ball…So after a discussion between Rebecca and I…we realize we are playing Superior…I guess it was their shirts that gave them away…right Beccs? (and Rebecca says: I don’t know, Caron, they might be Superior, but further research needs to be done. Couldn’t say just yet…)

Anyway…enough inside jokes…off we go…we take the field first and set the tone early with Steve to Staci for 1…Bill to Staci for 2…and Bill to Staci for 3…We hold the Superiors to 1 very measly run and now it’s our turn.

Dang…it is soooo cold! It is so cold that Amy’s “Diet Coke” was the only thing not frozen…wink-wink! (oh, I was wondering about that, says Rebecca)

Thaw out Nuts (Caron, you dirty girl)…You’re up…Paul gets us going with a slamming single…KP…poor, frozen KP…heats things up with a nice single…and Bill…aims for the Lacrosse players with a triple…he brings home 2 runs…takes out 2 players…and we end the inning ahead by 1…we take the field…slowly…like we’re in the South Pole or something…work it Nuts…work it!

Top o’ the 2…Sue sets the tone with a throw to Staci at 1st for 1…Then Jose…happy to be in the hot corner…makes a nice line drive catch for 2…and then Steve to Staci for 3…Superior only score 1 run and we have a 2 – 2 ball game…we start to notice that these Not so Superiors hit a lot of foul balls…so we implement the Foul Ball-o-Meter (follow it along below)…Nuts head in to bat…

Dang…It is soooo f-ing cold (watch your tongue! language – language!)…it is so cold that we in the stands we’re starting to fear that Hell WAS actually freezing over! And, then Rebecca started to sing. And, then Lori E. started to glare. And, then… and then…

Foul Ball-o-Meter: 4

We’ll pause for station identification here…cause the bottom of the 2nd was…well it was…over quickly…we think it was because of the confused polar bear that showed up thinking he was at home in the Arctic…(are you sure it wasn’t one of those munchkin lacrosse players out there? I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore…) but no biggie…he hopped on the ice flow and disappeared…back to the action…I mean after the is Zamboni finished that is…

Top of the 3rd…Bill throws to Staci for 1…Steve makes a strike-out for 2…and Steve makes a great line-drive catch for 3…that took care of his frostbite problem…and a couple of fingers to boot! That’s Hot! Hey….what does the Foul Ball-o-Meter say?

Foul Ball-o-Meter: 6

Oh…and yes…It is still freezing cold…I can no longer feel my face (and I usually say that for a different reason!)…In fact…It is soooo cold…that a spitball could kill ya! Turn on the heater and let’s bat… (Caron, there is no heater, just my singing … ehem. Yodeling, too. Oh thank god Darryl is here!)

Steve with a few less fingers is up (don’t care, still love him)…he slams a single…Staci also slams a single…and Paul provides the comic relief with a stand-up double…ooh yeah the runs are starting to come in! KP is on with a single…for awhile anyway…then Bill slams a double…and we have 3 more runs…we’re up by 2…hold em’ cold Nuts…hold em’!

Top of the 4th…Squatter-girl makes her debut…remember her? She liked to squat at each base for some reason…I thought is was some new fangled way of keeping warm…but no…We just don’t get it…anyway…she gets caught in quite the little pickle doesn’t she?! Jose…who is all hot in the hot corner and Steve “I don’t have frostbite” Stuhr work her into mass confusion and…ha…she out…take that back to the dugout and squat on it! That was so much fun to watch…more please! Bill throws to Staci for 2…and Jose…in the hot corner…makes another great catch for 3! Hot…our turn! But wait…one more look at the Foul Ball-o-Meter…

Foul Ball-o-Meter: 8

And…let’s get it over with…how cold was it? It was soooo cold that people were doing bad things just to go to, well, you know - that fire and brimstone place. (Yodel-lei-heeee…. yodel-lei-he-he….)

To the bottom…it’s a close game…5 – 4 now…stay warm and punch it! Jose “Every time” leads off…Smack…home run! Like I said…Every time! Derek slams a single…Steve slams a single…and we have 2 more runs…time to take the field…Hot hot hot hot hot…oohhh it feels good just saying it!

Paul and Sue make this “oh so close” almost out at 2nd play….and since we are the glass is half full kind of crowd (that’s a glass of frozen icey hell by the way…it’s cold!) we cheer our heads off! Then Steve throws to Staci for 1…Bill makes a really hot catch for 2…and then Steve makes a strike-out…looking…for 3…Hot! I usually can’t hear Blue call any plays…especially over my chattering teeth…but he did say STRIKE on that one! (strike that, baby. sorry, peanut gallery hadn’t pooped in for awhile.)

Foul Ball-o-Meter: 11 (Eleven, what’s wrong with them – can’t play? can’t hit! Previously on … Survivor.)

Our turn…score is 8 – 7…we need some runs…Paul leads off…he slams a double…then KP…she’s on with a single…then Bill steps up…he can like totally win this thing right now…and stop the onset of hypothermia…Whack…Home Run…tying run…winning run…and the softball is somewhere out there wedged in a glacier…Nuts beat Superior 8 – 10…and that’s 1st place baby! HOT!

So how about another softball game…I know I know…it’s still cold…but Amy is sharing her “Diet Coke” with me…so I’m getting warmer and happier as time goes on…Darryl’s Nuts will be playing the Rook’S….with a big “S” tonight…rumor has it Double D will be buying the 1st round if there is a win tonight…let’s see how it unfolds shall we…

Nuts take the field…Double D starts things off with a strike! Then Randy throws to Meaghan for 1…and Mike makes an awesome “have mercy” catch for 3…Rook’S only manage 2 runs…and we seem unaffected by the cold temperature…either that or everyone is having some “Diet Coke” in that there ding-dang-diddly-doo-dugout…hmmmm…where’s Amy?

Our turn at bat…Rebecca and I decide to retire the Foul Ball-o-Meter in favor of our new Randy-o-Meter…every time he makes a play…the meter ticks! Off we go…Randy leads off…and what the!? Grounds out?! Inconceivable! Did I really just see that? (we’re not gonna take it! NO! we ain’t gonna take it! we’re not gonna take it anymore……….) How about a little ralley or something…Theresa is on with a single…the Cleaner slams a double…Mike the New Alex doubles…Coconut singles….Brian We-Be-Lee-Ve doubles…Meaghan singles…J-Dawg doubles…Mindy the new Amy singles and Double D does something…sorry that’s about where my pencil broke…hold please while I reload…then Randy redeems himself with a triple…Theresa slams another single…and after the frost settles we have a whopping 10 runs…It’s getting hot in here! Pass the “Diet Coke” and have mercy!

We take the ice…randy makes the first play to Meaghan at 1st for 1…Double D gets a strike-out for 2…and repeat…Randy to Meaghan for 3! The Rook’S manage to get nothing and we head in to bat with an 8-point lead…Let’s check the Randometer…

Randometer: 3

Bottom of the 2nd…the Cleaner leads off with a single…Mike takes his base…Coconut is en fuego with another single…and then there’s Brian…who makes us Be-lee-ve in anything…I choose to believe it’s 80 degrees outside…and he slams a home run…excuse me…HOME RUN! We have 3 more runs and the Rook’S are lookin broken!

We take the field…Randy to Meaghan for 1…Randy to Meaghan for 2…and Randy makes a great catch for 3…hey…has anyone seen Randy? I thought he was playing this inning…oh well…my bad. To the meter…

Randometer: 6

Bottom of the 3rd…J-Dawg leads off…I find myself distracted by his haute couture socks…we pause so all can marvel at his fashion sense…note who his designer is…and covet a pair of our own…then…smack…J-Dawg is on with a double…Theresa slams a double…Double D doubles…Randy like totally hits a home run…and Cleaner triples! That’s 4 more runs! Can we just call this a game now? Blue? Anyone? Anyone?

We take the field…Rook’S get another shot at it…but we shut them down! Randy throws to Meaghan for 1…Mike the New Alex makes a great catch for 2…and Randy makes a great catch for 3…we check the meter…

Randometer: 9

Bottom of the 4th…the score is 4 – 17…so we take this inning off…throw some snowballs…go skating…shoot goals…make snow angles…go dog sledding…and avoid yellow snow…before taking the field again…for the final time…holla!

This is the inning of Mindy…the new Amy…she makes a great catch for out number 1…then Mindy to Meaghan for out number 2…and Double D gets a strike out for 3…and like we actually get to bat again! Oh…no change to the Randometer after the lady Nuts take over…

So here it is…3 outs away from the 49er Tavern…Theresa leads off with a single…Coconut takes her base…J-Dawg “Socks” Ahearn doubles…Double D singles…and we have 1 more run to brag about…that’s game…4 – 19 is the final…Double D…get your wallet out…and cue the Zamboni!

A few stats for our frozen fans:

Number of really great catches at 1st by Meaghan: 7

Number of really great catches at 1st by Staci: 8

Total Strike-outs: 5

Home runs: 3

Triples: 3

Doubles: 11

Singles: 17

Number of Reindeer sightings: 3

Total fingers lost to frostbite: 4

See you all next week at the Nuts vs Nuts rematch…this is high stakes people…don’t miss it! Now...how does one thaw out around here?!

We Believe!

How many Misfits and Q-Feds does it take to screw in a light bulb? No...I kid...What a great night! Not only did we win…but then we won again! Our Nuts are en fuego…not only were there some great plays to be proud of…but Randy ripped his pants…Raquel was back in the hot corner…and A. Wang’s name is Andy! Like I said….what a night!

Game 1…Darryl’s Nuts take on Malloy’s Misfits AKA Club Fed…we love to hate em don’t we? Well their back…fresh off their forfeit to Kara’s Nuts last week…I personally thank them for the no-show cause we got to go to Sharkeez 2 hours earlier…and well they’ve taken the pressure off of us as well…cause a team that forfeits just aint got it together…we can take em…of we go!

We take the field first…Repeat Randy makes the first play with a fly ball catch for 1…then Randy repeats the action with a throw to J-Dawg for 2 then J-Dawg to Meaghan for 3…double play! Set the tone…whoop that trick…ready, set, go…Misfits score 2 runs but are lacking the luster our Nuts have…they are so going to lose…can’t yah feel it?!

Bottom of the 1st....Repeat leads off…smack…a single! We’re off and running. Next up…Theresa…whoa…wow…that’s hot…she doubles! Cleaner’s up and on with a single…then Julie slams a single…Double D single Ds and the runners are flying past us rounding 3rd and headed for home…1…2…3…4…oh no…we’re not done….Jeanine steps up and she’s on with a single….then Brian makes us all B-Lee-Ve! Fans…it is GOOOONNNNEEEE…Home run! What an inning….and with some help from Meaghan…and more help from Randy…we end it with 7 runs!

We take the field again,…Cleaner sets the tone with a nice stop holding the runner at 1st…”He’s such a stud” Patti notes…then Double D makes one of those “way to protect the head” line drive reflex type catches for 1….then a strike-out for 2…actually reverse the order of those two outs and that’s how it really happened…but I was busy socializing so I missed it…then Double D really wants to show off his arm…so he winds up to throw to Meaghan at 1st…but what transpires is this underhanded lob kind of thing….while the ball is on its way to Meaghan she has some time…so she adjusts her hat…completes a warm up lap around the field and then reads War and Peace…just as she sets the book down the ball arrives…that’s 3! Work it…our turn!

Bottom of the 2…Cleaner is up…he takes his base…Double D…AKA Single D….singles…and J-Dawg singles we have two more runs on the board…Raquel stops by the stands to trade in her pencil (which she conveniently stashes in her hair for phone numbers) for a pony-tail holder…she never misses an opportunity! Now off to the hot corner…we take the field…

Before things get going the outfield decides to have a little team builder in Roverland…it is a real coincidence that the ball just happens to land on the ground in betwixt them…they regroup and take their positions…meanwhile Randy throws to J-Dawg for out number 1…then Brian makes the first of many “have mercy” catches for 2…we B-Lee-Ve! Then Randy makes like this hottest stop ever…he goes down and doesn’t even drop the ball (is this when he ripped his pants?)…he makes the play to J-Dawg for 3! Misfits score zero…zip….nada…nuthin! Hot…right?!

Bottom if the 3….We start with an un-B-Lee-Ve able double by Brian…Meaghan is next and she slams a single…then we’ll take a home run with our fries please…SMACK! Randy brings them home (but is this when he ripped his pants?)…we’ve got 2 more runs on the board…its 11 – 2…holla!

To the 4th…Double D is still on the mound…strike-out! Looking that is! The 1st Misfit is down! More please…this is great stuff…then the Misfits decide to work in a little rally….I said little rally so don’t worry about it…Randy sums up the nuts frustration with a “dang it” as a ball gets by him (not to worry Randy cause that like hardly ever happens!) Double D takes his frustration out on some poor Misfit he takes down at home plate…he out! And he seeing those little birdies and stars circling around his head (remember those Amy?)…cause Double D cleaned his clock! Then Brian makes another un-B-Lee-Ve-able catch for 3…Bri-Bri you rock!

To the bottom…the score is 11 – 6…Misfits got nothing left…they broken…wrap it up Nuts…wrap it up! Single D turns into Double D with a double…hot! Then Brian is on with a double…and Theresa slams a single…with some help from J-Dawg and Jeanine we manage 1 more run as we head into the 5th…

Top o’ the 5th…Theresa sets the tone by making a great stop to hold the runner at 1st…Randy Repeat throws to Meaghan for out number 1…then there is one of those “oh come on” calls at 2nd (yeah she was really out!) but Blue had to throw those Misfits a bone right?! “Blue is sleeping with someone on that team” one fan notes…but we forgive Blue cause he tells funny…yet odd…stories and always checks with us for the score…we continue to play…then one Misfit makes a career ending mistake…with runners on he slams the ball straight to Brian…un-B-Lee-Ve-able…has he not been paying attention? Brian catches everything! Keep on underestimating us Misfits…come on…keep it up…cause IT WILL be your downfall! Finally we finish off these Misfits with a little assist…the ball tips Double D’s glove and lands right into J-Dawg’s…don’t you love it when a play comes together?! Yeah….we totally meant to do that! Hot!

We up…the score is 13 – 9…Randy leads off with a spectacular double…then the Cleaner is on with a single…and with some help from Darryl and Rocky we score 2 more runs…but not before Randy really fights for it…after rounding 3rd he realizes he has to make a quick dive back to the base…but Randy…this aint water…this is dirt! Randy dives anyway…10.0….9.9…9.8…10.0…if it weren’t for that darn French judge he would have had the gold…and the landing…impeccable…and safe! Oh and this IS where he ripped his pants…battle scars…gotta love em! To the 6th…


Ok…so I loved this inning! This is the inning where Brian makes us B-Lee-Ve in everything from the Tooth Fairy…to the Easter Bunny…we B-Lee-Ve cheerleaders can save the world…and that Paris Hilton can sing…hell we even B-Lee-Ve this Tom and Katie thing is for real…Thanks for the hope Brian…we’re back in the church of baseball! So of course Brian starts us off with a beautiful catch for out number 1…I said it was beautiful! Then the Misfits do their trademark underestimating of us again…I told you it would be their downfall…that and their crappy base-running!
So…this Misfit slams the ball toward Cleaner out in right field…there are two runners on…and of course they take off…they think this ball is gone…headed right for that creek bed thing way out there…but in the words of Borat, “that ball is gone….NOT!” and what happens next is so great I worry about doing it justice here in the Blogosphere…
….so of course Cleaner makes the catch…but the Misfit runners don’t seem to notice…they’ve run past 2nd…rounded 3rd…headed home…and were last seen on the 405 in the carpool lane…this gives us plenty of time to introduce our new act…so Cleaner notices that those base-running Misfits have now merged into the fast lane…put their blinkers on…and are turning around…the fans in the stands are screaming in unison, “throw to 1st…throw to 1st”…so Cleaner throws in to Meaghan…with a swan like leap into the air…Meaghan tips the ball with her glove…lands a triple sow cow…and makes sure the ball gets to J-Dawg.
J-Dawg….right on cue…and just like clockwork…Pirouettes in the air…deflects the ball to Double D…and then greets the ground with all the grace and style of Baryshnikov! Double D picks up the ball…he hears the chants from the crowd…”First….first…first!” so in a brief moment of hesitation “the triple flip or the double axle he wonders?” Double D puts his whole body into it…and body tags the Misfit that finally made it back to the softball field…and Blue…oh yeah…Blue…he is way over at 3rd where he makes the call…OUT!
And that’s game people…it doesn’t get any better than that…15 –10…holla!

Ok Gold Nuts…you’re turn.
Kara’s Nuts take on the Quickfielders…and shout out to all you Laserfiche employees who are reading this blog…by the way…shouldn’t you be working?! Anyway…the Quickfielders chose our game to debut their very stylish new uniforms…they even had “Who” on 1st…what? No Who…What? Oh let’s not start that people! Anyway…off we go as we bat 1st…with reverse order…that’s hot!

Jose “every time” leads off and sets the tone as he slams a double…Staci’s up next and she’s on with a single…then Eustacio takes his base…KP is on with a double…and then the unheard of…the Quickfielders get Derek out…is this team better than we expected? We know what happened to those underestimating Mistfits…hmmmm…Dianna steps up next and singles…and by the end of the inning we have 3 runs…Quickfielders…you up! Nuts…you down!

Duke is king of the hill…er…mound…and starts things off with a strike-out and bat throw ensemble…watch out Duke…those Quickfielders do not like to be struck out! Duke then strikes out his next Quickfielder…and if nobody objects I am going to shorten their name to Q-Fed…gotta save some keystrokes here! So…with Duke’s 2nd strike out there is not bat throw accompaniment…but Q-Fed seems to have some strategery…and “driving cap” guy kicks it off…they walkin people! Before duke manages his 3rd strike out…Q-Fed has 2 runs…uh unearned runs…and we have a 3-2 ballgame…PopoZow!

We up…Bill leads off and smack…a double! Monique takes her base…Marydale takes her base…Duke singles…what? Yep…he singles…Steve singles…no he doubles…my bad. And we’re back to the top…or bottom of the order. Jose “every time” lives up to his name and triples! That’s hot! Staci takes her base…Eustacio singles…Derek doubles…and Dianna is back on with a single! So like isn’t that enough Nuts you’ve got like 7 or 8 runs now?! Nope…Paul wants a piece…so Crack…A home run! We end the inning with 11 runs and a 13 – 2 ballgame…have mercy!

Q-fed is up…and…Q-Fed is down…but they have some great team spirit! And the largest batting order I have ever seen…and they all have uniforms…reminds me of the old days when we looked great and lost all our games…pirouettes, glitter and great hair…awww I miss Dawn and Criselle! Anyway…the inning went like this…Duke strikes out one Q-Fed for 1…then another for 2…and then Duke…who really loved Double D’s underhanded lob earlier in the evening…underhands it to Staci at 1st for out number 3!

We up…have mercy…and we do…only two runs this inning thanks to KP’s single, Dianna’s base on balls…and Duke’s home run! The score is 16 – 2…Q-Fed is back up…still working through their batting order…off we go….and I’ll just get it over with if you don’t mine…Bill to KP for 1…Duke to KP for 2…Bill to KP…no Duke to KP…no it was Bill to KP for 3…

To the 4th …I had to sharpen my pencil for this one…Monique leads off with a single…Bill slams a home run…home run…home run…woo-hoo…Marydale takes her base…Duke singles…yep he singles…Steve the Monstuhr (glad I finally worked that in) also singles…Jose “every time” wants a home run…so whoop there it is…Staci slams a single…Derek slams a double…Robert and Double D crank at bat music and the fans stomp their feet…Monique singles…Paul singles…no he doubles…and it’s time for a cup joke…oh wait…maybe later…cause the runners keep comin in…Jose and Monique cross the base so closely “it is almost sexual harassment” notes one Nuts fan! Dianna’s back up and she slams another single…and Marydale does the same…by the time the dust settles on the field…oh wait that’s just Randy cleaning up…our Gold Nuts have 25 runs…say it together now…”have mercy”…”mercy mercy me”…and can I throw in another PopoZow! Sorry Q-Fed…we worked ya! But we’ll give ya the bottom…

Bottom of the 4th…coach KP changes things up a bit and the Monstuhr is on the mound…Strike-out…there’s 1…Steve to KP for 2…and a fly ball catch by Eustacio for 3…game over!

A few of the evening’s stats:

Number of home runs: 6…hot!

Number of strike-outs: 8

Number of singles: 25

Number of doubles: 14

Number of Quickfielders: like 50 I think

Number of phone numbers collected by Rocky: 3…right?!

So we’re off next week…eat lots of turkey and build your strength…cause Superior and Rook’S (with a big “S”) are back! Yeah….I think we can take em! Holla!

A Long Time Ago at a Softball Field Far, Far Away…

By Rebecca and Caron

Welcome to Nuts softball sports fans, Storm Troopers and Jedi…we’re up against a team that thinks they are Superior to us and that just won’t stand…pack up the light sabers and never underestimate the power of the force that is…Darryl’s Nuts!

As the game kicks off…we fans are having way too much fun…with Dominic’s portable bar in a box and the flying light sabers we all hunker down in the make-shift Mos Eisley Cantina and listen to the band (dew-do-dew-do-dew-ti-do, babba babba-dah-tah-dahhhh da) …I mean who can concentrate on a game with all this action…and pizza too! We are brought back down to earth by Sue’s, “Darryl struck out a girl!” line (the first of many by the way) and 1 out is on the board. Then…wait for it…Darryl struck out another girl…and we really feeling good…until that slugger guy comes up to bat…and oops…some kind of home run was hit….we think…we were distracted by the smell of my notepad for a moment…it smelled way too pretty for softball…anyway…Mike “the New Alex” put a stop to things by making a fabulous fly ball catch…our turn!

First up…Randy Repeat Czech…First up…Randy Repeat Czech…Okay I’ll stop now…No really…Randy is up…Smack! Home Run…that’s hot…around he goes…he has the force! Theresa is up next…and she’s on with a smoking hot single (smokin’ hot? Lori and Rebecca note that it’s not just the paper that smells weird tonight)…Mike-Alex is up next…he slams some kind of great hit that for some reason we didn’t make note of…uh…pass the beer…hic-up…woo-hoo…yeah! Anyway…Double D is on with another great hit…of some kind too…hey bartender…over here…and the Cleaner slams a some-thin-or-other that really has us cheering…and apparently not writing…but we’re back on track now with a great single by Julie…and a smoking single by J-Dawg…and another by Coconut! At the end of the inning we have 5 runs…which excuse me…but that’s muy superior to Superior…right?! Holla!

Top o’ the two…and we’ve had tee many martoonis...Mike-Alex makes the first out with a hot little catch for 1…then Darryl to Meaghan for 2…hey…pause…who new that Weird Al has a Star Wars parody…that I am now enjoying the genius of…is it no wonder that we did not record the 3rd out…I mean it’s Weird Al people! Lord…now I really need a drink…Dominic…where you at?!

Look at that…we’re back to Randy Repeat Czech…Look at that…we’re back to Randy Repeat Czech…that’s never going to get old for me by the way…Randy doubles…Randy doubles…then Theresa slams a single…Mike is on with a single…and we have two more runs on the board…7 – 5…that sounds superior to me…cause we got the 7! We crank some more tunes on our ultra superior state of the art sound system…that has two volume settings…undetectable and blaring…life is good…and the force is still with us…and we’re not supposed to underestimate it or something like that…anyway…to the 3rd! Who’s your daddy? Luke, I am your father…

Top o’ the three…welcome to the Randy Repeat and Mike-Alex show…action…Randy throws to Mike for out number 1…Randy throws to Mike for out number 2…then Mike to Meaghan for 3…that’s hot…right?! No need to mention that grand slam that Meaghan threw her glove at…after all its only a little grand slam…and we’ve still got the force…we just don’t have the lead…work it Nuts!

To the bottom…score is 7 – 10…we up…and we down…but there were some great hits to speak of…the Cleaner gave us a little preview of what’s to come with a nice triple…then slamming Julie Alonso slams a double! No worries Nuts…do not feel inferior to Superior…hold em’!

Top o’ the 4th…the inning of the superior lady Nuts…Theresa kicked things off with a rockin catch in the outfield…stopped that guy in his tracks…shut him right down…hot! Then Raquel steps up for number 2…and Cleaner to Meaghan for 3…Superior got nothing and they take the field…questioning their own name…fallacy…ha!

We up…oh and we down…come on Nuts…work it!

Top o’ the 5th…the inning of The Cleaner…he starts things off by joining the “Strike out a Girl Club” for 1…then Cleaner makes a nice little pop fly catch for 2…and Cleaner to Meaghan for 3…all Cleaner all the time…hey…where’s Patti?!

Our turn…we want it right Nuts? So…punch it! Vrrroooom, vrrrrrrrom, vroooooooooom – light sabers unite! Slugging Julie Alonso…who is 2 for 2 by the way…slams another single…now she’s 3 for 3…hot! Randy Repeat is up next…we could really use a repeat on that home run from the 1st…but Randy delivers a triple…we’ll take it! Mike-Alex is next with a nice double…but he wants a pickle…too bad it is the sour kind…cause we out! We did manage one more run with some help from the girls…but our once superior lead has disappeared…we need some yoda-like magic about now…hold em Nuts…hold em!

To the 6th…we’re only down by 4…we can do this…off we go…Randy Repeat rockets a throw to Meaghan at 1st for 1…Randy Repeat rockets a throw to Meaghan at 1st for 1…oh I said that…Then Coconut makes a great catch near 2nd for 2…then after a few rounds in the “who do we throw to confusional” Double D throws to Meaghan for 3…Superior manages 2 more runs…so we enter the final battle with an 8 – 14 score…let’s go Nuts…make it count!

We up…Double D sets the tone with a lead off double…I mean a single…that whole Double D thing throws me…Theresa is up and on with a single…and with some help from The Cleaner…we score a run…It looks to be over…and just as Blue is about to call the game we see a stampede of Storm Troopers and those little furry things that squeak…oh yeah….Ewoks…and a battle ensues between the Nuts…Superior…and a bunch of Star Wars characters…like those cool little things with the glowing eyes…what are those called (Jawas, Rebecca notes – she’s such a geek)? Anyway they proceed to blow up the field…the stands…the nasty metal restrooms…and that big tree Duke always hits…luckily the bar in a box was untouched…bartender?! Blue heads over to tell us we cannot play the 9:00 game due to the mess of an outfield…them Storm Troopers are messy…who knew? He then sends us all directly to Sharkeez for safety…never underestimate the power of…two-for-one drinks and free appetizers! Holla!

See…it all comes together in the end!