LIGHTS! CAMERA! RE-TAKE!!!
By Caron and Christine
So what was the name of that movie…you know the one…the play is at home…the runner is well on his way with all the momentum of Mel Gibson after an all-night bender …and as he approaches he hears the fans go wild…the roar of the crowd can be heard by the passengers in the JetBlue flight overhead…home plate is in his sights…he knows he will tie up the game if he makes it…but then…where is the plate? All he sees is some girl in the baseline, squatting over home plate like she’s about to unload a pile of nasty … hunched over waiting for a ball that was not even headed her way! Yeah…What was the name of that movie?
Well…that was no movie sports fans…that was the action in front of us at Baseball Movie Night! Special thanks to our ushers and candy girls, Christine, Catherine and Johanna…if you missed the Goobers and Raisenettes or you didn’t walk down the red carpet, our paparazzi captured some great pictures that will appear in the Enquirer section at the end of our entry. Now on with the action!
Hammered and Screwed and Nuts 3 (black team) are up first…we remember them from before…but the stats show that their last premiere was a flop…lets drop them in the ratings here and now! Rick kicks off the action with one of those dive-on-the-shoulder catches we fans love to watch for the 1st out. Then Mike the Cleaner strikes out the next batter …looking, ha!….And Reaton makes a really cool catch for the 3rd! We are looking good…and not even phased by those seven runs the other guys hammered and screwed us with…our turn!
We change strategy and this point…rather than get on base we walk the red carpet a little, smile for the cameras and sign some autographs…Hammered and Screwed are totally confused by this new strategy and we use that to our advantage…as they are distracted by the paparazzi and groupies…Robert gets the force at second for out number 1, Rick makes another great catch for 2, and Cleaner strikes out this girl who swings like she has a fly-swatting Ginsu knife in her hand…just like in the infomercial!
Nuts come alive in the 2nd…Cleaner gets on base with a double, and Alex singles…with some help from Norma…Mike scores and we have sold our first ticket! We start the 3rd down by a mere 11 runs…but we have the bigger budget and the best B.S.E. (Big Shot Executive)/General Manager in Baseball…I mean Softball, R.W. (that’s his Hollywood name)…off we go…let’s do this thing!
We hold them to two runs with another Cleaner strike-out! Then J-Dawg gets the force at 3rd for 2 and Reaton makes a great catch for 3! Our turn, our turn! We have some great hits this time around…J-Dawg gets on base with a single, Rick gets a single and so does Julie! But ummmm…we like our score so we keep it for another inning.
Nuts take the field…Cleaner and Raquel walk the red carpet first and tell us who they are wearing…Then we kick in to gear…Hammered and Screwed are held to two runs while Mike throws to Norma for the 1st out, Cleaner makes a great catch for 2, and Meaghan catches this smokin line drive for 3! We are ready for more…our turn!
Blue has us cue the music…but by the time I’m done fiddling with the boom box we in the field again…and something happens that sends Coach Gibby to his room…dang you look down at the wrong moment and you miss the good stuff. But by the 5th inning we really, really kick in to gear…Alex hits a home run, Rick gets a double and J-Dawg gets a double…we score two runs and end the game at 18 – 3. End first feature.
And now showing on our second screen … Game 2 Nuts 2 (red team) take the field against Club Fed…the team from EJ’s…we hope they’ve had “Tee Many Martoonis” to play … and off we go. Sean starts us off with a strike out…then Duke “He’s the real thing, yo” Low makes a great catch for 2…well and 3! “Who is that guy who’s in every play?” asked one amazed fan who obviously doesn’t subscribe to Sports Illustrated … it’s DUKE! And he ain’t no crybaby like that punk Reddick ….So we’re off to a great start…our turn!
After a few walks down the red carpet and some smiles for the camera…the aforementioned Duke “The Natural” hits a home run….just a little somethin’ somethin’ for the fans! We’re up by one…Club Fed makes another attempt at bat but they are stopped cold by Sean “the Reflex” Boylan and KP…twice! Then Duke steps up for his turn and throws to KP for 3…we look hot…holla!
Bottom of the 2nd…Paul “Boo-ya” Santana starts things off with another home run, Sue hits a single, and Jose singles…we up by two and Club Fed is the team looking like The Bad News Bears!
To the 3rd then…Duke throws to KP for out number 1, then the Monstuhr makes one of those “holy shit” catches for out number 2…if I could have replayed that one I would have…Hey Steve…did you get to do that in The Pitcher and the Pin-up? Finally we put Club Fed out of their misery with a Sean to KP out at 1st… “Let’s hear it for the old guys!”
Now…it’s hammer time…Sean leads off with a single, then the Monstuhr (“Pischer Who?”) gets a single, KP wants one too…then Duke…oh he’s got the “juicy meatball look!!!”…Club Fed will need some Angels in the Outfield about now…it’s a home run! With a double from Jorge "Don't Call Me Jose" Haynes, we end the inning with a six run lead over the Feds…we hot!
To the 4th…Sean’s still got it…he gets a strike out for number 1, then Duke throws to KP for 2, and Sean “it aint Reflux…it’s Reflex” Boylan makes the catch for 3…We are so hot…the crowd is going Nuts, the popcorn is flying, and we are actually in the lead…wrap it up, Nuts, wrap it up! We bat…Paul smacks a triple (look for that word later) Jose singles again, and we manage another run…it’s 9 – 6… and we have the 9 baby!
Now to the 5th…well here is what I remember…triple play, triple play, triple play! I said triple play! Alex “the Marquez” makes the catch…that’s 1…touches 3rd for the force…that’s two…then throws to 2nd for a Monique, backed by Sin-D out…and that’s 3! Cut and print baby! I mean really…grand slams and triple plays…what’s next Nuts…what’s next?!?!?!
We enter the 6th with another Boylan strike out, another fly ball catch by Duke (we're tired of bolding his name by now) and the last Duke to KP out at 1st of the game for 3…we’re up…and KP wants this game for her birthday…so work it!
Somewhere in all this excitement the Feds score a few…I mean we have to throw them a bone right? We ain’t scared cause it’s not like we haven’t been down before…off we go! We start with a Monstuhr double, a single by Duke and a single by Jose "Don't Call Me Jorge" …we need one run to tie and two to win…hey…where is Paul? Yeah…we know what is coming next don’t we…and I’m not sure words can even express the next course of events…but this is how we saw it… Paul rounds third to score which would like totally tie the game and stuff … and sees some chick STANDING THERE bird watching or whatever …. He gently taps her as he touches home plate and she collapses like Linday Lohan suffering another bout of “exhaustion.” MAYHEM! Paul “Bonecrusher” Santana is called out even though the ball is still somewhere in the 714 area code! The ump, who had been cool so far, except that time we caught him texting his honey when he should have been calling balls and strikes, said since a girl fell down and Paul was closest to her, he’s to blame of all the troubles in the world like global warming, the war in Iraq, Korea testing missiles, oil at $80 a barrel, whatever the hell is going on in Lebanon and Israel, and the fact that Trader Joe’s ran out of peanut butter cookies. So as punishment, he will be called out and the game will be over, or practically over…. Or over enough to crush our souls and make us question our faith in all of humanity and the universe … oh the horror!
All I can say is we can’t wait for the sequel! Holla! Either that, or we send this Fed team up on a plane filled with snakes!!! That could happen you know …
Best quotes of the game (and there were many, many good ones):
“We’re not all Hollywood types.” – Blue (who we don’t like anymore! Boo! )
“Do you want some of my sugar?” – Candy Girl CD during her Oscar winning performance as a Candy Girl
“Are you sure it was his bat?” – R.W.(it’s best if he explains that one)
“Who are you Barry Bonds? Run that shit out!” – CD to Sin-D in regards to her not running out her cute grounder!
“Give him a yellow card ump” – Cleaner
“Let’s hurt another one” – CD after one of the Feds were maimed.
“Put a little oil in those joints” – R.W.
And a few stats for the crowd:
Number of Nuts who chose The Sandlot as their favorite movie: 5
Baseball movie trivia – most correct answers: Robert with 15
Most incorrect answers: Renee with 5 1/2. Someone get this girl some Netflix!!
Baseball movie trivia winners: AP and KP…the connection!
The one no one knew: Tom Hanks' character in A League of Their Own was based on which former Major Leaguer? Ok, so Robert got it, but he spelled the name wrong! It's Jimmie Foxx and everyone would be better off if they knew a little something about him. This guy rocks!!! Please read about one of the most prolific right-handed power hitters in the history of the game and learn ya somethin'. I mean this guy was even on the cover of TIME! Quiz next week!!!
Number of Nuts’ strikeouts: 6
Number of quotes too inappropriate for this Blog: 13
So what was the name of that movie…you know the one…the play is at home…the runner is well on his way with all the momentum of Mel Gibson after an all-night bender …and as he approaches he hears the fans go wild…the roar of the crowd can be heard by the passengers in the JetBlue flight overhead…home plate is in his sights…he knows he will tie up the game if he makes it…but then…where is the plate? All he sees is some girl in the baseline, squatting over home plate like she’s about to unload a pile of nasty … hunched over waiting for a ball that was not even headed her way! Yeah…What was the name of that movie?
Well…that was no movie sports fans…that was the action in front of us at Baseball Movie Night! Special thanks to our ushers and candy girls, Christine, Catherine and Johanna…if you missed the Goobers and Raisenettes or you didn’t walk down the red carpet, our paparazzi captured some great pictures that will appear in the Enquirer section at the end of our entry. Now on with the action!
Hammered and Screwed and Nuts 3 (black team) are up first…we remember them from before…but the stats show that their last premiere was a flop…lets drop them in the ratings here and now! Rick kicks off the action with one of those dive-on-the-shoulder catches we fans love to watch for the 1st out. Then Mike the Cleaner strikes out the next batter …looking, ha!….And Reaton makes a really cool catch for the 3rd! We are looking good…and not even phased by those seven runs the other guys hammered and screwed us with…our turn!
We change strategy and this point…rather than get on base we walk the red carpet a little, smile for the cameras and sign some autographs…Hammered and Screwed are totally confused by this new strategy and we use that to our advantage…as they are distracted by the paparazzi and groupies…Robert gets the force at second for out number 1, Rick makes another great catch for 2, and Cleaner strikes out this girl who swings like she has a fly-swatting Ginsu knife in her hand…just like in the infomercial!
Nuts come alive in the 2nd…Cleaner gets on base with a double, and Alex singles…with some help from Norma…Mike scores and we have sold our first ticket! We start the 3rd down by a mere 11 runs…but we have the bigger budget and the best B.S.E. (Big Shot Executive)/General Manager in Baseball…I mean Softball, R.W. (that’s his Hollywood name)…off we go…let’s do this thing!
We hold them to two runs with another Cleaner strike-out! Then J-Dawg gets the force at 3rd for 2 and Reaton makes a great catch for 3! Our turn, our turn! We have some great hits this time around…J-Dawg gets on base with a single, Rick gets a single and so does Julie! But ummmm…we like our score so we keep it for another inning.
Nuts take the field…Cleaner and Raquel walk the red carpet first and tell us who they are wearing…Then we kick in to gear…Hammered and Screwed are held to two runs while Mike throws to Norma for the 1st out, Cleaner makes a great catch for 2, and Meaghan catches this smokin line drive for 3! We are ready for more…our turn!
Blue has us cue the music…but by the time I’m done fiddling with the boom box we in the field again…and something happens that sends Coach Gibby to his room…dang you look down at the wrong moment and you miss the good stuff. But by the 5th inning we really, really kick in to gear…Alex hits a home run, Rick gets a double and J-Dawg gets a double…we score two runs and end the game at 18 – 3. End first feature.
And now showing on our second screen … Game 2 Nuts 2 (red team) take the field against Club Fed…the team from EJ’s…we hope they’ve had “Tee Many Martoonis” to play … and off we go. Sean starts us off with a strike out…then Duke “He’s the real thing, yo” Low makes a great catch for 2…well and 3! “Who is that guy who’s in every play?” asked one amazed fan who obviously doesn’t subscribe to Sports Illustrated … it’s DUKE! And he ain’t no crybaby like that punk Reddick ….So we’re off to a great start…our turn!
After a few walks down the red carpet and some smiles for the camera…the aforementioned Duke “The Natural” hits a home run….just a little somethin’ somethin’ for the fans! We’re up by one…Club Fed makes another attempt at bat but they are stopped cold by Sean “the Reflex” Boylan and KP…twice! Then Duke steps up for his turn and throws to KP for 3…we look hot…holla!
Bottom of the 2nd…Paul “Boo-ya” Santana starts things off with another home run, Sue hits a single, and Jose singles…we up by two and Club Fed is the team looking like The Bad News Bears!
To the 3rd then…Duke throws to KP for out number 1, then the Monstuhr makes one of those “holy shit” catches for out number 2…if I could have replayed that one I would have…Hey Steve…did you get to do that in The Pitcher and the Pin-up? Finally we put Club Fed out of their misery with a Sean to KP out at 1st… “Let’s hear it for the old guys!”
Now…it’s hammer time…Sean leads off with a single, then the Monstuhr (“Pischer Who?”) gets a single, KP wants one too…then Duke…oh he’s got the “juicy meatball look!!!”…Club Fed will need some Angels in the Outfield about now…it’s a home run! With a double from Jorge "Don't Call Me Jose" Haynes, we end the inning with a six run lead over the Feds…we hot!
To the 4th…Sean’s still got it…he gets a strike out for number 1, then Duke throws to KP for 2, and Sean “it aint Reflux…it’s Reflex” Boylan makes the catch for 3…We are so hot…the crowd is going Nuts, the popcorn is flying, and we are actually in the lead…wrap it up, Nuts, wrap it up! We bat…Paul smacks a triple (look for that word later) Jose singles again, and we manage another run…it’s 9 – 6… and we have the 9 baby!
Now to the 5th…well here is what I remember…triple play, triple play, triple play! I said triple play! Alex “the Marquez” makes the catch…that’s 1…touches 3rd for the force…that’s two…then throws to 2nd for a Monique, backed by Sin-D out…and that’s 3! Cut and print baby! I mean really…grand slams and triple plays…what’s next Nuts…what’s next?!?!?!
We enter the 6th with another Boylan strike out, another fly ball catch by Duke (we're tired of bolding his name by now) and the last Duke to KP out at 1st of the game for 3…we’re up…and KP wants this game for her birthday…so work it!
Somewhere in all this excitement the Feds score a few…I mean we have to throw them a bone right? We ain’t scared cause it’s not like we haven’t been down before…off we go! We start with a Monstuhr double, a single by Duke and a single by Jose "Don't Call Me Jorge" …we need one run to tie and two to win…hey…where is Paul? Yeah…we know what is coming next don’t we…and I’m not sure words can even express the next course of events…but this is how we saw it… Paul rounds third to score which would like totally tie the game and stuff … and sees some chick STANDING THERE bird watching or whatever …. He gently taps her as he touches home plate and she collapses like Linday Lohan suffering another bout of “exhaustion.” MAYHEM! Paul “Bonecrusher” Santana is called out even though the ball is still somewhere in the 714 area code! The ump, who had been cool so far, except that time we caught him texting his honey when he should have been calling balls and strikes, said since a girl fell down and Paul was closest to her, he’s to blame of all the troubles in the world like global warming, the war in Iraq, Korea testing missiles, oil at $80 a barrel, whatever the hell is going on in Lebanon and Israel, and the fact that Trader Joe’s ran out of peanut butter cookies. So as punishment, he will be called out and the game will be over, or practically over…. Or over enough to crush our souls and make us question our faith in all of humanity and the universe … oh the horror!
All I can say is we can’t wait for the sequel! Holla! Either that, or we send this Fed team up on a plane filled with snakes!!! That could happen you know …
Best quotes of the game (and there were many, many good ones):
“We’re not all Hollywood types.” – Blue (who we don’t like anymore! Boo! )
“Do you want some of my sugar?” – Candy Girl CD during her Oscar winning performance as a Candy Girl
“Are you sure it was his bat?” – R.W.(it’s best if he explains that one)
“Who are you Barry Bonds? Run that shit out!” – CD to Sin-D in regards to her not running out her cute grounder!
“Give him a yellow card ump” – Cleaner
“Let’s hurt another one” – CD after one of the Feds were maimed.
“Put a little oil in those joints” – R.W.
And a few stats for the crowd:
Number of Nuts who chose The Sandlot as their favorite movie: 5
Baseball movie trivia – most correct answers: Robert with 15
Most incorrect answers: Renee with 5 1/2. Someone get this girl some Netflix!!
Baseball movie trivia winners: AP and KP…the connection!
The one no one knew: Tom Hanks' character in A League of Their Own was based on which former Major Leaguer? Ok, so Robert got it, but he spelled the name wrong! It's Jimmie Foxx and everyone would be better off if they knew a little something about him. This guy rocks!!! Please read about one of the most prolific right-handed power hitters in the history of the game and learn ya somethin'. I mean this guy was even on the cover of TIME! Quiz next week!!!
Number of Nuts’ strikeouts: 6
Number of quotes too inappropriate for this Blog: 13
posted by Caron at 1:39 PM
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