Game #9 recap: Whatever and ever, Amen.
We’re nuts about our ‘Nuts! Too bad the umpire wasn’t. That guy was a stooge! I mean, I know you’re not supposed to blame things on the umpire, but come ON! The one little thing they’re supposed to do is … uh … make calls, and that’s the one little thing he somehow Just. Didn’t. Do.
It got to be really annoying and totally affected the outcome of the game, but before we get into all of that let’s talk about the jewelry we wore tonight. In honor of “Nuts Week” we had the team wear hand-crafted peanut necklaces, which came in handy in case someone needed an in-game snack! And all snacks were nuts themed, so we enjoyed Nutter Butter Originals and Nutter Butter Crème Patties, Double Stuff peanut butter Oreos, Peanut Butter in a Tube, Corn Nuts and coconut rum jello shots! Good times!
So we were ready to go … this was the last practice game before the big PROM! We were the home team, so that means we were on defense first … and boy were we on defense. The other team batted around THREE TIMES in the first inning. I am not making this up. This inning would not END. We were quite possibly going into league history as the first team to be mercied in the first inning. “But we can’t be mercied,” cried chief peanut Cindy Cordova, “we brought all these snacks!”
The other team like totally attacked with ninja-like precision. If you taped a dime to a blade of grass somewhere in the field, they could hit the ball there. Like in a place where no one was standing. Like in a place where no one has ever stood. Just like Tony Gwynn, but more anonymous! And to make it more frustrating we always seemed to hit the ball right *at* someone! I know that big guy in the orange shirt caught some balls that were definitely hits against other teams!
But let’s get back to blaming this whole thing on the umpire. First of all he wasn’t even wearing blue, and then Rick “Roadrunner” Radvansky hit a ball that started in fair territory, their team touched it (or went to touch it, which is pretty much the same thing in my book), then it went foul, and Rick was on third by then (he’s fast) … and the ump just stood there then somehow he managed to say it was foul like 10 minutes later! This guy is so slow … he should work for the state!
Oh well, then Darryl got up and I can’t remember what he did because we were all noticing that Raquel was wearing sparkles on her face! Very cute!
Then it was the other team’s turn to bat and Sean “The Reflex” Boylan started our rally with a nice snag of a hot grounder! He threw the Yardrat out from his knees! Then Robert dove and tumbled for a spectacular catch to end the inning. Raquel also made a nice defensive effort and dove for a ball at third like Kate Moss before a pile of coke. Way to keep it classy, Raquel!
Then we pretty much went three up-three down and are now back in the field. But we still felt a rally a-comin’! Caron resumed her cartwheels in rover-land and almost caught the next fly ball, but instead did an amazing tribute to "The Gazelle" noted BSE Richard West, again in attendance (this time with friends! Hi Steve from Sacramento! Hi Dennis!)
Lori Erdman decides to make conversation with the other team’s players and asks a girl wearing a Wisconsin T-shirt where she’s from! We hate to break it to her that she’s just a girl from Laguna Niguel who bought her shirt at Urban Outfitters, but Lori follows with a spirited “I’m from Madison!!!” Gotta love team spirit. Even when it’s for the other team.
So Marydale walked and Amy pinch ran/pinch runned, then Robert did something and then Dawn did something and then inning over. But let’s back up to Dawn. The woman sewed her own pants! She expertly converted her pair of black Old Navy cargos to a CROPPED pair of black Old Navy cargos. Way to go Dawn! During our next offensive series we still didn’t score any runs “but the jewelry looked great,” noted a team optimist.
So with a season like this it’s been amazing to see the ‘Nuts progress. I mean catcher Criselle needs just one cutoff man to throw back to the pitcher now! Things were starting to look up! Lori Erdman even had someone to do the wave with! (thanks Steve!). Someone even sat on Connie's seat cushion! (thanks Patti!). But then things reverted back as we accidentally beaned a runner on his way to first. The Yardrats responded by scoring a bunch more runs. On top of the bunches they scored earlier.
The next inning Sean singled up the middle to start things. Criselle responded with a walk/sashay to first and was utterly confused as to what to do once she got to first base because that’s never happened before!!! Remember what I was sayin’ about progress? Yay Criselle! After standing on first with her arms out like ‘now what?’ she’s replaced with pinch runner Dawn. And then Rick singles for the best (only?) hit of the game and is responsible for the ONLY RBI OF THE GAME!!! Yay Rick!!
Then Kara ends the game with a bizarre play where she somehow is responsible for the first triple play in Team History! It went something like she hit the ball to short, and their guy “caught it” (not really, but see earlier rants about umpire) and then they catch Dawn off second and then they catch Rick off first or something maybe sorta like that, but we’re really not sure except we were asking a bunch of questions about what just happened to the umpire (who is basically the sports officiating equivalent of a doughnut-eating cop).
He looks around like he’s supposed to do something, then he snacks, then he puts on a new jacket, then he checks his watch, then he calls his kids to see if they finished their homework, then he makes his mental Christmas shopping list, then he dusts off the plate, then he debates the confirmation hearings of John Roberts, then he wonders why he ain’t in the Bigs, then he ties his shoes all before realizing there is STILL A GAME GOING ON!!!! He gets totally embarrassed by being caught daydreaming so he calls the game. Right there and then! Totally bush league.
After the game, which had the most anti-climactic ending of all time, we all gathered around trying to figure out our little place in the softball universe. We have a good time and we’re here to make you look good. We’re not just the ‘Nuts anymore … we’re the Washington Generals.
It got to be really annoying and totally affected the outcome of the game, but before we get into all of that let’s talk about the jewelry we wore tonight. In honor of “Nuts Week” we had the team wear hand-crafted peanut necklaces, which came in handy in case someone needed an in-game snack! And all snacks were nuts themed, so we enjoyed Nutter Butter Originals and Nutter Butter Crème Patties, Double Stuff peanut butter Oreos, Peanut Butter in a Tube, Corn Nuts and coconut rum jello shots! Good times!
So we were ready to go … this was the last practice game before the big PROM! We were the home team, so that means we were on defense first … and boy were we on defense. The other team batted around THREE TIMES in the first inning. I am not making this up. This inning would not END. We were quite possibly going into league history as the first team to be mercied in the first inning. “But we can’t be mercied,” cried chief peanut Cindy Cordova, “we brought all these snacks!”
The other team like totally attacked with ninja-like precision. If you taped a dime to a blade of grass somewhere in the field, they could hit the ball there. Like in a place where no one was standing. Like in a place where no one has ever stood. Just like Tony Gwynn, but more anonymous! And to make it more frustrating we always seemed to hit the ball right *at* someone! I know that big guy in the orange shirt caught some balls that were definitely hits against other teams!
But let’s get back to blaming this whole thing on the umpire. First of all he wasn’t even wearing blue, and then Rick “Roadrunner” Radvansky hit a ball that started in fair territory, their team touched it (or went to touch it, which is pretty much the same thing in my book), then it went foul, and Rick was on third by then (he’s fast) … and the ump just stood there then somehow he managed to say it was foul like 10 minutes later! This guy is so slow … he should work for the state!
Oh well, then Darryl got up and I can’t remember what he did because we were all noticing that Raquel was wearing sparkles on her face! Very cute!
Then it was the other team’s turn to bat and Sean “The Reflex” Boylan started our rally with a nice snag of a hot grounder! He threw the Yardrat out from his knees! Then Robert dove and tumbled for a spectacular catch to end the inning. Raquel also made a nice defensive effort and dove for a ball at third like Kate Moss before a pile of coke. Way to keep it classy, Raquel!
Then we pretty much went three up-three down and are now back in the field. But we still felt a rally a-comin’! Caron resumed her cartwheels in rover-land and almost caught the next fly ball, but instead did an amazing tribute to "The Gazelle" noted BSE Richard West, again in attendance (this time with friends! Hi Steve from Sacramento! Hi Dennis!)
Lori Erdman decides to make conversation with the other team’s players and asks a girl wearing a Wisconsin T-shirt where she’s from! We hate to break it to her that she’s just a girl from Laguna Niguel who bought her shirt at Urban Outfitters, but Lori follows with a spirited “I’m from Madison!!!” Gotta love team spirit. Even when it’s for the other team.
So Marydale walked and Amy pinch ran/pinch runned, then Robert did something and then Dawn did something and then inning over. But let’s back up to Dawn. The woman sewed her own pants! She expertly converted her pair of black Old Navy cargos to a CROPPED pair of black Old Navy cargos. Way to go Dawn! During our next offensive series we still didn’t score any runs “but the jewelry looked great,” noted a team optimist.
So with a season like this it’s been amazing to see the ‘Nuts progress. I mean catcher Criselle needs just one cutoff man to throw back to the pitcher now! Things were starting to look up! Lori Erdman even had someone to do the wave with! (thanks Steve!). Someone even sat on Connie's seat cushion! (thanks Patti!). But then things reverted back as we accidentally beaned a runner on his way to first. The Yardrats responded by scoring a bunch more runs. On top of the bunches they scored earlier.
The next inning Sean singled up the middle to start things. Criselle responded with a walk/sashay to first and was utterly confused as to what to do once she got to first base because that’s never happened before!!! Remember what I was sayin’ about progress? Yay Criselle! After standing on first with her arms out like ‘now what?’ she’s replaced with pinch runner Dawn. And then Rick singles for the best (only?) hit of the game and is responsible for the ONLY RBI OF THE GAME!!! Yay Rick!!
Then Kara ends the game with a bizarre play where she somehow is responsible for the first triple play in Team History! It went something like she hit the ball to short, and their guy “caught it” (not really, but see earlier rants about umpire) and then they catch Dawn off second and then they catch Rick off first or something maybe sorta like that, but we’re really not sure except we were asking a bunch of questions about what just happened to the umpire (who is basically the sports officiating equivalent of a doughnut-eating cop).
He looks around like he’s supposed to do something, then he snacks, then he puts on a new jacket, then he checks his watch, then he calls his kids to see if they finished their homework, then he makes his mental Christmas shopping list, then he dusts off the plate, then he debates the confirmation hearings of John Roberts, then he wonders why he ain’t in the Bigs, then he ties his shoes all before realizing there is STILL A GAME GOING ON!!!! He gets totally embarrassed by being caught daydreaming so he calls the game. Right there and then! Totally bush league.
After the game, which had the most anti-climactic ending of all time, we all gathered around trying to figure out our little place in the softball universe. We have a good time and we’re here to make you look good. We’re not just the ‘Nuts anymore … we’re the Washington Generals.
posted by christine at 11:30 AM
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