Game #7: We Still Look Hot
Note: This week's recap contains the Haikus created for each player. See if you can find them!
OK, so even though this week’s game was to start at 9 p.m., it actually really got started around 5:30 p.m. when the team headed out for drinks and batting cage time, and Team/Theme Moms got started on Haikus to celebrate this week’s theme … Japanese Week! Contrary to what your fifth grade teacher taught you, haikus are way more fun to compose while hammered, so that’s what we did.
We found the best bar in town that serves the WCB (World’s Coldest Beer, 27.4 degrees) … the Thirsty Isle, our foes from two weeks ago or last week or something! We thought we’d try to spy on them until we realized we wouldn’t be playing them any more this season, so that left us more time to compose our poems.
So our bartender was mean and so was the kitchen guy who brought us our ketchup and totally interrupted our train of thought as we composed five-seven-five syllable works of art. But the mean bartender warmed up to us after seeing us do our “homework” at the bar, and helped us work on Raquel’s haiku.
We downed something like a pitcher and managed to get haikus done for practically everyone! We were so excited about them and couldn’t wait to share! Unfortunately, as the game was underway, our timing was a little off as we were distracting the batters with them. Apparently we’re supposed to be finished as the batter comes to the plate, and not just actually starting. Alex “We saw you puke once/Don’t do that again ever/Until our prom night” Porter scolded us probably something like twice about this and then we got scared because we were actually winning and didn’t want to cause any disruption of the mojo we had flowing. So sorry to those who didn’t get to hear one … they will forever live in our heads … and at the thirsty isle ... and in this blog!
So because we were concentrating on our haikus and on dodging Alex’s glares, we’re not too focused on the batters and stuff … but as it turns out we’re winning! Now this week we’re playing O’Connell’s, the team that totally dominated us and then raked the field with our arses. They like totally mercy ruled us last time but we’re not having it this week. We are powered by poetry!
So we pretty much missed all of the offensive fireworks in the first inning, but the major point is we’re up like four runs! So it’s O’Connell’s time to bat and they sort of look scary, but not really. Well, except for the girl we call “Two Haircuts” (Business in the front; Party in the back). She’s mean.
There were some good catches this inning, one by Robert “Pants of elastic/Totally ruled the ‘80s/So cut that shit off” Eaton and the other by “Amy likes candy/She’s sweet and a good player/Don’t get cavities” Ashton. Amy did the classic “hold my glove out and hope the ball magically is drawn into it by a powerful magnetic forcefield” … and it did!!! Way to go Amy!!!
The O’Connell’s only managed to score one run and Raquel “Your boyfriend is hot/Your boyfriend is hot, really/Your boyfriend is hot” Bazan gently reminded them that we were still winning by doing jumping jacks on third base and yelling “We’re winning! We’re winning!” There’s something to be said for subtlety, and then there’s something to be said about the ‘Nuts!
Next inning Amy gets on base somehow and then Robert walks, getting two bases. Dawn “We think you are hot/Give us a twirl on the plate/And then flash us twice” Locher gives us a curtsey mid-Haiku before sashaying to first. And then Sean “You pitch like Roger/You’re old too. Don’t pull something/We have some Bengay” Boylan walks, scoring Amy and moving Dawn to third! Walks are the new black! Then O’Connell’s totally panics and gets a new pitcher! This is hot! A definite first!
“Criselle, How’s my hair?/Wish it looked as good as yours/But you are the queen” Espiritu strikes out looking and seems surprised she isn’t awarded first base on cuteness. Raquel comes out to hug her and gently guide her back to the dugout … kinda like when Zoolander really thought he won his fourth Male Model of the Year Award and Hansel had to tell him to sit down.
Then Alex drives the ball down the right field line and Sean scores! Raquel followed with a legitimate stand up double and busts some moves on second base. Walter “Get a hit Walter/Time for the elevator/Good thing we have three” Marquez follows with a groundout that ends the inning, but we’re winning 6-1! We ask the ump the score again and he’s certain it’s 6-1! This is cool! (We’re the team with 6!!!)
So it’s O’Connell’s turn to bat and Raquel immerses herself in the game by not only calling strikes for the ump from third, but tagging a guy out and calling him out herself! Complete with hand motion! (Note to Raquel: I am not sure if the umps participate in a job sharing program. Just a thought).
The score is 6-4 now and O’Connell’s is gaining. The game takes on a serious tone. Caron “CO In The Know/We missed you last week/Don’t leave us again” Oberg really makes good contact, but somehow they barely managed to catch the ball. Any other team and it’s a hit, Oberg! Jason “Please hang out with us/You impress us every week/Don’t be a stranger” Pischer flies out, “Jenna we forgot/Your Haiku, Jenna, Jenna/Sorry about that” Purcella singles and then I have no idea what Mike “You are such a stud/You’re showing up the young guys/No chamber this week” McLean does, but my scorebook reads “B, K, 6-3.”
So I think there was a lot of activity this inning because by the end of it the score is 11-6, and we still have six. “Darryl you are hot/We don’t want your wife to hear/Meet later for beer” Dearborn walks, and Robert’s seeing-eye single scores him, so now the score is 11-7! Bust out the rally monkeys!
As one astute observer noted, this is actually one of our better games against a really good team -- we just had one bad inning. “We’ve been mercied twice, this is nothing,” says one Team Optimist. Oops. Now the score is 14-7. But it’s our turn to bat! Well, that didn’t last long as we go three up, three down. I bet the batters just wanted to get back to the dugout to down some more Malibu Jello shots followed by a malt liquor chaser.
The ‘Nuts take the field and Sean gets ready to throw some heat but wait! He’s like “Where’s Raquel?” She’s totally missing! Someone in the peanut gallery suggests she might be fixing her hair, but she emerges from the bathroom a few moments later and we’re ready to take the field (and her hair does look great). Alex makes a nice catch of a line drive and Marydale “We forget your name/Your husband’s name is Michael/Go Maryland, Go!” Leonard expertly holds a runner at third while protecting home plate. Nice job Mary!! So then Walter ends the innings with one of his suspenseful catches where he sort of drops to one knee!! Bravo!!
So now it’s the last inning and the score is like 18-7. This is the Nuts’ last chance! There is still plenty of optimism in the stands as we start celebrating! “There’s no mercy, I love it!” notes Team Mom Cindy “27.4 degrees” Cordova.
Raquel is up first and kicks dirt while at the plate, like a mad bull ready to charge. She totally singles and then Walter gets a hit that turns into a triple after a multitude of throwing errors! Jason singles down the line and scores Raquel and Walter and then advances to second on a throwing error. O’Connell’s is starting to show cracks!! Mightly Mighty OC’s are getting nervous!! And they must hate being threatened by the hottest chicks in the league. I swear these chicks were really annoyed with our hotness! Sorta like how the WNBA players wouldn’t really like synchronized swimmers. It was funny when Raquel yelled “Hey! This is the chick we struck out last time” and the chick was like “Shut up!”
But the comeback is short-lived as the game ends with a very respectable 18-9 score. Does anyone else notice how close we are to scoring that elusive 10 runs!?!?! It really is inspiring when you think about it. Hmmm … why can’t the Nuts can’t crack the 10-run barrier? It’s one of life’s great mysteries, like why Connie always brings a seat cushion and then never sits down. Or like whatever happened to Melissa Manchester.
So the season is winding down and we need to rally around our ‘Nuts and propel them to getting another win and scoring ten runs! Maybe with all of the mayhem in the Gulf Coast we can stage our own tribute to New Orleans … and drink lots and flash people next week? Or do we return to our pink flamingo theme!?! Or combine the two and have flashing drunk flamingos??? Let’s talk!!
OK, so even though this week’s game was to start at 9 p.m., it actually really got started around 5:30 p.m. when the team headed out for drinks and batting cage time, and Team/Theme Moms got started on Haikus to celebrate this week’s theme … Japanese Week! Contrary to what your fifth grade teacher taught you, haikus are way more fun to compose while hammered, so that’s what we did.
We found the best bar in town that serves the WCB (World’s Coldest Beer, 27.4 degrees) … the Thirsty Isle, our foes from two weeks ago or last week or something! We thought we’d try to spy on them until we realized we wouldn’t be playing them any more this season, so that left us more time to compose our poems.
So our bartender was mean and so was the kitchen guy who brought us our ketchup and totally interrupted our train of thought as we composed five-seven-five syllable works of art. But the mean bartender warmed up to us after seeing us do our “homework” at the bar, and helped us work on Raquel’s haiku.
We downed something like a pitcher and managed to get haikus done for practically everyone! We were so excited about them and couldn’t wait to share! Unfortunately, as the game was underway, our timing was a little off as we were distracting the batters with them. Apparently we’re supposed to be finished as the batter comes to the plate, and not just actually starting. Alex “We saw you puke once/Don’t do that again ever/Until our prom night” Porter scolded us probably something like twice about this and then we got scared because we were actually winning and didn’t want to cause any disruption of the mojo we had flowing. So sorry to those who didn’t get to hear one … they will forever live in our heads … and at the thirsty isle ... and in this blog!
So because we were concentrating on our haikus and on dodging Alex’s glares, we’re not too focused on the batters and stuff … but as it turns out we’re winning! Now this week we’re playing O’Connell’s, the team that totally dominated us and then raked the field with our arses. They like totally mercy ruled us last time but we’re not having it this week. We are powered by poetry!
So we pretty much missed all of the offensive fireworks in the first inning, but the major point is we’re up like four runs! So it’s O’Connell’s time to bat and they sort of look scary, but not really. Well, except for the girl we call “Two Haircuts” (Business in the front; Party in the back). She’s mean.
There were some good catches this inning, one by Robert “Pants of elastic/Totally ruled the ‘80s/So cut that shit off” Eaton and the other by “Amy likes candy/She’s sweet and a good player/Don’t get cavities” Ashton. Amy did the classic “hold my glove out and hope the ball magically is drawn into it by a powerful magnetic forcefield” … and it did!!! Way to go Amy!!!
The O’Connell’s only managed to score one run and Raquel “Your boyfriend is hot/Your boyfriend is hot, really/Your boyfriend is hot” Bazan gently reminded them that we were still winning by doing jumping jacks on third base and yelling “We’re winning! We’re winning!” There’s something to be said for subtlety, and then there’s something to be said about the ‘Nuts!
Next inning Amy gets on base somehow and then Robert walks, getting two bases. Dawn “We think you are hot/Give us a twirl on the plate/And then flash us twice” Locher gives us a curtsey mid-Haiku before sashaying to first. And then Sean “You pitch like Roger/You’re old too. Don’t pull something/We have some Bengay” Boylan walks, scoring Amy and moving Dawn to third! Walks are the new black! Then O’Connell’s totally panics and gets a new pitcher! This is hot! A definite first!
“Criselle, How’s my hair?/Wish it looked as good as yours/But you are the queen” Espiritu strikes out looking and seems surprised she isn’t awarded first base on cuteness. Raquel comes out to hug her and gently guide her back to the dugout … kinda like when Zoolander really thought he won his fourth Male Model of the Year Award and Hansel had to tell him to sit down.
Then Alex drives the ball down the right field line and Sean scores! Raquel followed with a legitimate stand up double and busts some moves on second base. Walter “Get a hit Walter/Time for the elevator/Good thing we have three” Marquez follows with a groundout that ends the inning, but we’re winning 6-1! We ask the ump the score again and he’s certain it’s 6-1! This is cool! (We’re the team with 6!!!)
So it’s O’Connell’s turn to bat and Raquel immerses herself in the game by not only calling strikes for the ump from third, but tagging a guy out and calling him out herself! Complete with hand motion! (Note to Raquel: I am not sure if the umps participate in a job sharing program. Just a thought).
The score is 6-4 now and O’Connell’s is gaining. The game takes on a serious tone. Caron “CO In The Know/We missed you last week/Don’t leave us again” Oberg really makes good contact, but somehow they barely managed to catch the ball. Any other team and it’s a hit, Oberg! Jason “Please hang out with us/You impress us every week/Don’t be a stranger” Pischer flies out, “Jenna we forgot/Your Haiku, Jenna, Jenna/Sorry about that” Purcella singles and then I have no idea what Mike “You are such a stud/You’re showing up the young guys/No chamber this week” McLean does, but my scorebook reads “B, K, 6-3.”
So I think there was a lot of activity this inning because by the end of it the score is 11-6, and we still have six. “Darryl you are hot/We don’t want your wife to hear/Meet later for beer” Dearborn walks, and Robert’s seeing-eye single scores him, so now the score is 11-7! Bust out the rally monkeys!
As one astute observer noted, this is actually one of our better games against a really good team -- we just had one bad inning. “We’ve been mercied twice, this is nothing,” says one Team Optimist. Oops. Now the score is 14-7. But it’s our turn to bat! Well, that didn’t last long as we go three up, three down. I bet the batters just wanted to get back to the dugout to down some more Malibu Jello shots followed by a malt liquor chaser.
The ‘Nuts take the field and Sean gets ready to throw some heat but wait! He’s like “Where’s Raquel?” She’s totally missing! Someone in the peanut gallery suggests she might be fixing her hair, but she emerges from the bathroom a few moments later and we’re ready to take the field (and her hair does look great). Alex makes a nice catch of a line drive and Marydale “We forget your name/Your husband’s name is Michael/Go Maryland, Go!” Leonard expertly holds a runner at third while protecting home plate. Nice job Mary!! So then Walter ends the innings with one of his suspenseful catches where he sort of drops to one knee!! Bravo!!
So now it’s the last inning and the score is like 18-7. This is the Nuts’ last chance! There is still plenty of optimism in the stands as we start celebrating! “There’s no mercy, I love it!” notes Team Mom Cindy “27.4 degrees” Cordova.
Raquel is up first and kicks dirt while at the plate, like a mad bull ready to charge. She totally singles and then Walter gets a hit that turns into a triple after a multitude of throwing errors! Jason singles down the line and scores Raquel and Walter and then advances to second on a throwing error. O’Connell’s is starting to show cracks!! Mightly Mighty OC’s are getting nervous!! And they must hate being threatened by the hottest chicks in the league. I swear these chicks were really annoyed with our hotness! Sorta like how the WNBA players wouldn’t really like synchronized swimmers. It was funny when Raquel yelled “Hey! This is the chick we struck out last time” and the chick was like “Shut up!”
But the comeback is short-lived as the game ends with a very respectable 18-9 score. Does anyone else notice how close we are to scoring that elusive 10 runs!?!?! It really is inspiring when you think about it. Hmmm … why can’t the Nuts can’t crack the 10-run barrier? It’s one of life’s great mysteries, like why Connie always brings a seat cushion and then never sits down. Or like whatever happened to Melissa Manchester.
So the season is winding down and we need to rally around our ‘Nuts and propel them to getting another win and scoring ten runs! Maybe with all of the mayhem in the Gulf Coast we can stage our own tribute to New Orleans … and drink lots and flash people next week? Or do we return to our pink flamingo theme!?! Or combine the two and have flashing drunk flamingos??? Let’s talk!!
posted by christine at 3:40 PM
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